Steal This Title

die Darstellung

2012-01-31T04:46:00.003+11:00

Warszawa is about the future and Krakow the past. We are always moving forward. We are listening to music that does not yet exist. We are riding motorcycles that are not yet built. We are the act that brings forth an idea. We are always moving and therefore misunderstood. We are ungraspable. We are what we are not. We are this and that but not. We are the ever changing links between people, perception and performance. We are consume, not the material nor the ash and not even the flame, but the sensation only to be felt in change. Never resting we cannot be acclimatised to. For we are constant variation producing constant stimulation without desensitisation. Unlike the burning bush that burns but is not consumed we are consumed again and again ever as something else and are therefore not burned. We are the new - destroying ourselves to build again. We are the old - restoring and rebuilding. To realise nothing in becoming otherwise than and again. Without a view onto self nor onto the past only moving to what comes next. Never here, always on the way there. Without pause at the destination already on the way. Always departing away from. Nothing to arrive at. Leaving a wake of tails pursuing explorations at their points of departure where they got off. Pushing a new seriousness never understanding the question. Removing all sense of satisfaction. Leave the phone ringing. No answer. An upward moving vantage burning cold menace. A jostle from foot to foot. Demanding more from conditions, body, obstacle, upwards to stars out of orbit not facing West, into the sunset, nor East, expecting sunrise, but for the stars themselves. To emit light. To be a star-rise and star-set. To illuminate a planet. To illuminate planets. To light up the sky. To go beyond imagination explanation and condition as an irrevocable movement of universe. To be felt as expectation and surprise. The first Spring warmth, prickle bringing chill in Winter breeze. Moving alike across land and seas. Expanse cringes underneath a glance always hungry without eyes enough to take in what can be consumed. Always close to an end. A constant striving parabolic zero curving into infinite exactitude tossing away the relevance of numbers by affirming their conceptual existence. We assert our existence over the conceptual, lasting in a moment as real as they last forever dependant upon our moment. Our movement. Our act. Without understanding. Without attitude.

grau

2012-01-17T04:45:00.003+11:00

wandering around for pommes, frittes, fries, or chips whatever can the poles being doing with potato hiding the basic necessities underground the typical farmer culture going back to australia i hear one is up to nothing good in the old country common misconceptions of the nothing new and a distaste for any kind of change whatever happened to progressive thinking has the world turned just another notch parents have never understood the ego tripping privilege of the new breed the dinosaur will eventually be buried under its own money stockpiling wealth on the second floor for the moment i will crouch back into a studio bunker on the other side of the river waiting for the bridge to collapse a lack of resources to rebuild a lack of imagination to reuse tunnelling the system into oblivion now is a good day to die the end of everything and the beginning of nothing

.

2011-12-22T21:42:00.001+11:00

long winded death drive
sentencing a winter homelessness
spikey high heels

wilst du mehr lernen

2011-11-20T23:18:00.003+11:00

father's heart operation
brother's motorcycle accident
mother's eye operation and grandfather dies

/grandfather's funeral the erzahler arrives/

brother's back operation
discovery of sister-in-law's adultery
sister-in-law's suicide
sister-in-law's funeral coincides with realisation of having kicked meth addiction
father's death

father:
heart attack, quits smoking
obesity problems, was active as a young man now inactive and sugar rich irregular meals
finger cut off retirement from active work
as a kid fell into a diary churner which crippled his leg for life
had always been a consistent borderline heavy drinker since youth

grandfather:
grows orchids
tinkers with cars, motorcycles
picks up guitar in mid life and begins a regular corner career
heavy drinker and smoker
abusive
emphysema
throat cancer

mother:
glaucoma
depression
kidney problem, not cleaning the blood properly

brother:
born with weak knees
suffers from slipping spinal discs from a motorcycle incident
having difficulty with the production of children

sister-in-law:
manic depressive
having difficulty with the production of children
seeks out another lover
mother was a junkie, now dead
was made to eat own shit as child locked in a laundry naked
commits suicide in a car

Erzähler:
adopted out
city sider
outsider peering from alternative view into the mainstream desire
meth addiction
vegan health punk kick leaving the frail gaunt look, developed from fading out hippies who lost their minds in acid dementia living on an animal
males contact for help to get off meth and garner money
talks to each character for money and help but gets only the backstory to his now dead grandfather
the stress of current family dramas replaces the meth as an addictive stimulant

fertig

2011-10-18T07:11:00.002+11:00

onto the next inbetween time interactive project something to keep me out of trouble the hand busy and the eyes on the road a going nowhere waiting on everyone else excursion takes a long time for words to have any fluidity about them a long and slow melting process too much too fast and they crumble into dust in the fingers in a slight breeze

ausdrucken
out into the world and far far away have you looked in your mailbox today a reminder to always do the work yourself miscommunication exists on the simplest of levels always having to deal with someone else

getting the bad press out for everyone to hear but what to do when one is already in the building but move out those large nuggets rely on the ignorance of the masses the next thing to do is make the information an overload a disinformation so easy to clog up the channels in which the use the ability to access and create is so easy the mixture so potent to then wipe out the account with a larger presence with a flood a pushing down into the gutters into the over flow stormwater drains out into the ocean our shit flows

schlechtes Gedächtnis
another tell tale sign another working away at a shit frenzy we are getting to know each other better day by day but in the big events no one can hide all is laid open and bare distraction at the door bring all the energy back into an enclosed space to find someone else something else to do

die Betonung

2011-09-18T21:55:00.004+10:00

i'm into the dull long running through the motions part how to keep the motivation up and not move onto yet another beginning the focus on end product where and what one will get at something a little smaller then the self a little part of the whole that i can never get at moving through it when it is completed spells my end for the other to see but for now stepping outside of myself this self into another forever getting further away from yesterday when the plan was still in tact a course of action to be taken however is it that i am still wanted that others come rushing in from all sides to sap and take away from what ever energy is resonating from this dull body an age of illusion moving in circles never before moved within whenever can i get rid of those little bodies never mind the ease of life will wear off soon enough no one will be wanting to pick this corpse up off the street sure there is a little beauty left in it yet but not for much longer scary slippery slopes are opening up beneath me take the money and run why am i listening to all the terrible advice surround oneself with the people one does not want to be and don't do anything they do repeating patterns of behaviour do not take on the side issues do not take on the habits a lock out of the control centre at some point i have to get out of here and collect something that i don't have is there not already enough shit sitting within a reachable grasp what more could one want no more walls it is the arrangement everyone is bitching about i try to drown out the constant buzz but somehow it still seeps in through the skull

immer lernen

2011-08-30T06:31:00.002+10:00

simple thought motivates action

just another guise for self propagation
set the stage to favour performance
interrogate interaction

i gave away a pair of socks

i'll see you there

2011-08-17T05:07:00.000+10:00

unverstandbar

ich sehe dich da

2011-08-11T01:37:00.000+10:00

does not make any sense does it

zum Erreichen

2011-08-04T07:04:00.003+10:00

lost on words scrambling over another year of bramble piling up in the corner something is tearing at the stomach i want to spit the pit out start again from another place have everything collected wound up tomorrow tomorrow how about now putting down the know how surely i will stumble across this ancient text sometime in the past piece the whatever it is together nothing so direct that has already been written into the text working out the finer detail the inbetween broader scopes boundaries of definition a little more seeing for oneself the learning curve is not a plateau i have spent so much time in the region of joy here comes the fair cry a bucket of variation more on the bottom end i would rather like to get a full eight hours this evening a treat to be managed taking a night off back on clock on tomorrow what a useful notion the future tense as though there is something ahead of the point from which one speaks from which one acts only ever something intending toward implicit in the directionality built in from left to right top to bottom always relatively speaking let me show you something i learnt in space the love crawl the screen always gets in the way i am trying to get into the feeling of pictures open oneself up to the sensitivities of sound and image but the muscling work is just too great the sloppiness is ever present more time required these are the first experiments in a new medium just capturing what has always been happening in a different way this written word has been well polished build yourself up buttercup the labyrinth writes itself giving birth to itself reaching a critical mass eating itself up taking on a new shape in mere interpretation because the opus upon which each new work rests is just so large a work well underway the story gave birth to the novel representation gave birth to photograph whatever is film trying to do it is still trying to give birth to its own mother to the seed of its creation a waylaid notion a forgotten project thrown to one side pick up a stick and set the ball in motion another game to play with the burden without the wait of expectation in living up to a purpose casting aside the very origin of meaning in the absence of an origin of creation why is one still bringing a script a story and representation to a medium that owes nothing to these conceived birth places of meaning a construction operating with different tools within a hostile environment tense me not

das Ergebnis

2011-07-11T09:45:00.002+10:00

another arrangement but for how long until the next arises with any luck a slow turning machine a month of otherwise then in a transient bliss-becoming a tending toward a getting used never on the nerves can let everything go for just that long to get what needs to be done the studious lost in four walls of writing filling and cramming a slow burn stake a drive into the methodology required to crack a code to get a required grade nursing a wounded ego something to raise the clam shell gesture people get by with less than what i have how do they call that speaking a language how do they call that getting by a work out of the mouth only in action a communicative response not required just don't reach for the sword i can draw quicker a bakers mess i am just so picky choosy

stains

2011-07-05T08:49:00.004+10:00

every outlet around me is standing still must be plenty of life going on getting under around elsewhere what happened to the perpetually distracted always busy go getter just for the moment running out of a last a few days off a recharge something to kick to get back on i have not the time for this shit get that back together and sort out what the fuck needs to be done the pulling out of all those lame lazy shortgap measures laying off the pragmatism i am still sowing will be a large harvest whenever autumn comes hanging around to stalk in another winter give me just one more month and i will have this all sorted out one more month to perfect the practice to launch myself into a world of misunderstanding it is never too late to start but the better time is always earlier yesterday if you can manage that i wonder sometimes if all this is just a distraction a keeping at bay the energies required to separate this ego and exist free from perspective caught gawking a sigh kicks in later in life not yet too much bright eyes going around sun sinking in through suede dangling behind plants what are we supposed to think of this lock in existing on yet another parallel pickup the schoolbooks relearn geometry math was just another language you either got it or you didn't and to maintain fluency is to keep using it put up to the test change the mode of thought not nestled within a language of expression but refine it to the purity of number see how they dance a light show affair how can i share those states of being from here i give all the customary notions as they deservedly accrue presenting themselves repetitively adaptation led to the development of just having the right thing to say at any given time otherwise we would have all lost our heads long ago this one is getting another screw on tomorrow always in the morning i work miracles best in the morning a re evaluation of the where at the reawakening into the seriousness of attempt do not let this one go there will be no second time round no profiteering on the sidelines here survive or die the retreat is not an option the only retreat is to progress into the place where one wants to be why if there was a retreat that would assume one left a place of comfort of satisfaction where one wanted to be how is that so where comes the motivation to leave the bed if not out of the necessity to pee and who has not first attested to the discomfort of a bed soaking in pee here is motivation enough to leave have i finished peeing is it time for bed

i am not tired yet

death cab bonzo

2011-07-04T10:46:00.003+10:00

making a well restrained joke what is so rough about living tough amongst the animals sleep with sheep and walk with a roo rhyming couplets bouncy pleasantness cheesy one liners of satire shifting position locking through a day off a monster creeping up round the corner a crack at the sitting back tuning out a relaxation method whatever is going on in the background meddling beyond the type of what do people want to be doing a coming a swinging in by i have to sort out in my head what i want to be happening and what the other wants not within the time frame not within the looking out after things not trust what is it that one wants the referencing systems building up in a drab corner dying overnight not getting enough light

die Mangel

2011-06-30T09:28:00.005+10:00

closing up shop time adding connections relighting this distance trod a path whereabouts am i now no further along the track wading through water making new mistakes or old ones in another location no time for growing up all the commands to keep the childhood in check what is left to deal with der Mensch denkt und Gott lenkt put me in the back of the trunk wrapped in foam and blind drunk socialism lives on in the hearts and minds of the insane wandering europe in a daze nothing better to come up with existing within the statu(e)s quo(ta) on two sides of the fence those who grew up within and harp back to a golden age of childhood rekindled or those idealistic perverts who can right the wrongs of history escape time itself and build another wall the force of reason is persuasion if you don't have the right words hell sometimes the right words will not do the heart runs rampant the deluge of dreams turn nightmarescape let this tottering biped have a go at creation nothing like the ego let loose on a populus hopefully no one gets wind of this communication nothing happens because of it no one jumps on the band wagon taking false notions for a ride delinquent out dated modes of existence headed toward self destruction here comes the flood hell groß britainien may not be such a bad bet after all the initial bloodshed a solid unity is more than likely ripe to re emerge out of the fear always and steadfastedly held over continental europe so near yet so far only so many men have swam the english channel and ein paar women ducks in the water quack

neues Wohnsituation

2011-06-21T07:19:00.002+10:00

open fire conversation is a battleground i am living behind enemy lines catch every word watch what is coming out at the end of every and any day you would be first against the wall if i had my way unthinking categorical beasts struggling over the menial completely enthroned within the safe haven of convention here let me take that brain since you have no use for it what of all this time energy calculated detail the use of opposable thumbs i could use all those as well wallowing in a lack of direction in a lack of purpose in a lack of efficient born to be told what to do i have been all along pointing out all the inefficiencies that i would prefer not to live with but they are either disregarded or misunderstood this has been a long time coming sure i could continue living in compromise but i have the opportunity to level the playing field listen to what comes out of these conversations the same twatter reaffirming outdated modes of tradition no longer applying under a different set of circumstances one respected one's elders because they had earned that respect but most have the ones that come round here have thrown that to the wind discern no respect from this wandering cogito i am not pitter pattering around the meaningless trivialities of cleaning up after oneself doing the dishes mopping a floor putting food back in the fridge refraining from eating other people's food or better yet participating and bringing food to the table enjoining the ritual song and dance creating an atmosphere for communing opening the channels of relation building commons thinking through the processes of living with and not adopting the roles of the family situation it is all too easily to play the child the family is not a model for governance it is an exceptional asymmetric survival structure of power responsibility and obedience wound on the premise of love and progeny here in the flatmate structure there is a void of unconditional love what love may exist is built through sharing as caring unless you are willing to bare my children there is little else you can do for my progeny in some instances the flatmate actively destroys progeny so let us throw away the familial structure the fact that such a convention is repetitively referred to as sufficient grounds is a clear sign of the problem itself not the double locking of the front door and back door swinging open windows left opened or never opened this are all contextual disparages that cannot be affixed hard and fast rules of law a case for all cases rather it is your critical thinking skills those adaptive skills to live amongst others to care to act with those in proximity within the act to carry responsibility to lighten the load of the other by in the very first or least step avoiding any act that increases the load awareness self-conscious effort directed to the common an operating notion of common dispelling the ego taking on the mindset of the collective working in with each other working together

passiv satz

2011-06-13T00:56:00.002+10:00

exterminate the brutes

ein Hand wäscht die anderen

2011-05-30T06:19:00.002+10:00

und beides wascht die Gesicht room change occupation light weight heavy on the toes whatever rhythms these new machines get to the act of growing getting together what exactly photocopying symbols

durchbruch

2011-05-28T07:12:00.001+10:00

get what you can whenever what crops up little sleep crawls in

übergangsweise

2011-05-16T02:40:00.002+10:00

LOST on another frequency of attuning into the world around one the subtle not so subtle the primordial soup of existence and interaction soft budding keys the instant backstep what was not meant to be there the running correction a lack of physical feedback the sine wave red appears under each and every error so the rest is good to go meaning level at least at the level of signifying an already known recogniseable generally word if not out on another polis dipping in and out of the not so generic just to catch a sound catch a fire light the fury release the fury bind the fury send it over the wall set it off excite the self and garner a little self interest no flood over invitations but another low key avenue of finding a whole in the wall the ones that are in touch and communicating under more subtle signs no want to go through the chaotic mischievous process of grilling and getting burnt under the heat whereabouts and what fors particularly attracting the ones already somewhat on top of it at this age and stage of the game one has to otherwise the sinking feeling takes hold and sooner than later water seeps into the lungs no hard you struggle you paddle eventually you sink you stone you sink you stone i thought i knew but now i know rose trees don't grow in new york is the room still free really am i not too late had you not put this up months ago the time period is so short i cannot believe that it would be available now what sort of searching are looking at here how quickly ought the response to come back to why is now the time to be looking at advertisements for places to live of course they know it is on the erdgeschloss it says so on the advert just have to see it for yourself could you live here the imagination begins to run wild wherever is here is where i am living so the in sitting is as important as all else whatever about me could not be sustained in this space the interaction with the other is always a constant source of suspicion in expectation all i want is a little surprise once in a while push those self held beliefs those closest to the chest off a cliff and watch the drown go get a bunch of new ones from the library just on short loan digest what one can and spit out anew result breathing down the neck a pool of vile vomit spectacular responses in the work if only i could reply like a understand in the same fashion that i can read and be delivered an image a signpost a message spit it back out in the same sounds rather than hitting the frustrated wall of signposting in translation the basic elements sinking in having the conversational back drops keeping a flow flowing relating the basic elements of showing understanding and reflecting the required responses under emotional conditions laughing where appropriate sending an anecdote back in the same vein compare and contrast no lasting effect or any deep analysis skimming the appearances of what having had happened in another world unseen remaining a mystery seeking clarification only after confusion request has no been made to unleash on the sentence structure the prepositions all the nitty gritty getting a little bit dirty testing oneself and not the listening to lower the generosity and increase self standard expectation get it right force fed the corrections into the routine of thinking and weed out the false correlations the links have done all the good they will up to this stage time to let go of a few training wheels to progress to another level of metaphoric use building on metaphor on metaphor unearthing understanding in the relationship between words and the signified in the world putting distance between the learnt and the pre existing framework of communication that has been standing there all this time as a scaffolding a support structure already moving under its own weight holding back the exploratory omissions of the imagination in the realm of the other's expression play catch up on der Wortsatz getting a feel for der Hauptsatz and der Nebensatz the prepositions are coming down to knowing der Artikel the more i read the more i remember getting a place for the word through a combination of position and case as held in der Artikel
working on the unpacking let go of the context of meaning giving here lies a construction of reference striving for an exactitude in stillness laying out the possible an ontology for creation the rules in which that which is not yet may come to be however it is never closing no matter how each rule case gender may be applied in its rigidity the process closes nothing off as finite merely outlining one mode for a possible infinity

Schadenfreude

2011-05-15T08:58:00.002+10:00

busting out of the back door trance surely keys work on both doors but never for me comes the cry just to not trying hard enough how much do you want it where lies the desire manifestation never forget how to let go and grow alone in a shady corner of the garden a slow moss rising damp whatever happens to the foundations round here waiting for the sign to fall in and start again a good fire to rip through the guts and get another plan off the ground what is a hundred years in the passing of european architecture the basis for any culture formally excluding nomadism the rejection of permanent structures where comes the constructive desire and in it to colonise other modes of internal signing upon the external world insisting on the first person perspective in cahoots with a third view from objective fact sure let's meet for chocolate now the room has begun to have creeping movements about it the ghosts of those mice left from the winter period just a biological move out of the cold into something a little warmer zones of comfort regions of exertion where is the greatest benefit fat reserves output is less than input a consumer machine holding onto whatever resources that can be earned spent up digested fed into the body what else comes close to the pampering resource spend on self the smells in the living room are getting out of control even with the window open cigarettes and rotting clothes building up a pungency of unpleasantness all about that kind of shit staying in your own room putting the mould build up outside where the infection is not as bad what ever happened to just eating the food you prepared or properly storing for later consumption how long does it take to devour pasta you could have made enough just for the evening in which you ate and then again some later for whatever ever nothing of the mind of conservation or offering around the waste of the individual the unthinking the ritualistic ego ploughing through on the tailcoats of excess not a wonder those without have begun a head hunt i feel the infuriation sitting within on this side of the delineation the well fed an opening via empathy of the possible position of disgust and anger welling up in those unfed upon lands that are pillaged or otherwise regaled to prop up listless piles of waste from a society that has given up on selection but breeds in absent mindedness

entscheiden

2011-05-15T05:11:00.002+10:00

if i could just get my shit together some sort of organisational chaos am i not allowed a day off what is a day wasted what is it for a day not to be wasted what is a day and where lie the delineations how much sleep does one need and will the feet ever stop aching start standing upon the head and see how far you can walk then over stretched the bodily demeanour i am getting together a little alone time to get the thoughts together a reset switch sinking into a new routine stepping it up a notch everything just got a little more

so the body is getting sore signs of wear and tear pushing a little too hard listen before something breaks no need to switch down a gear just stop with the rip tear and bust allow a little more time between on transit in the physical endurance wipe that other shit from the mind yeh some things just have to wait until the rain stops nothing man can do there start building again in a dryer location nothing to throw in the towel yet

stay the course time will tell cliches run wild

übersprIngen

2011-05-11T07:45:00.002+10:00

evening classes catch up sessions change of pace get the head into gear out of arse right over onto the next working cycle meant to passing exams throwing back the clearwater catchment what a phase of diversity how quickly the weather changes over here nothing of the drastic malevolence mixed with paradise nothing like it merely a settlement upon a generally lower quality all year round not to misunderstand spring or summer but they just don't seem as good without the shit having to go through nothing like an extreme thunderstorm or the heat to glaze over the abundance of greenery an always growing spectacular a wonder land a dream world why the hell are you doing here then just getting a bite of the otherwise than to make the cake taste all the sweeter whenever i get another slice handed back over to me whatever do i miss nothing of the sort experience is rich in its texture wherever i sit the outdoors is a getting through an adjustment period just offsetting the activities high wire act tight rope walk the line gold finds in the amongst the junk of a throw away society a culture of misinterpretation of value a doing up out of the ashes a new portrayal of what is no longer socially accepted was once looked upon as an invaluable tool a shining light of social wealth now an economic disaster whatever would you do that for and cease to contribute in any positive way to the overall structures of turnover unit production glittering new shining wealth of industrial exploitation limitations on efficiency are only within the imagination disabled thinking crossroad cultures a conflict in interest what ever are you doing this weekend where will you sleep a job search for another lifetime get this career up off the ground flying start only leads to a crash landing messing up the timetable saving the daylight hours for what a stunt in the drivers seat a running about muck the heat of the day a peak period a potential work ethic know not what needs to persist can i throw a date back an hour or perhaps just the half get out of class just that little bit earlier every week or rearrange whatever could the problem be i am letting out too much steam on the reworking of every idea sometimes i have just got to run with what works in the moment and let go of the potential ideal manifestation so much is falling short by the wayside peeling off i feel lighter

streng

2011-05-04T07:50:00.002+10:00

get out of the way coming through enough of this waiting game i am going to give a go run the lone game nothing out here but fear itself if you don't like it destroy me careful what you say round here they have been known to fulfil such requests i have met my match in patience this one was going to sit through anything a last man standing removal unnecessary he was never going to engage a complete waste of communal space at least you could appear as though you may at some point do something but the talking does not work on someone who does not speak the language the slow turning of learning cogs in action two months i have written the poor sod off nothing there for me nothing here for him pulled the one card i had to turf him the having stayed here longer and on the side are the current leaseholders look at the end of the day this little caveat favours those who have an active involvement who do you want to live with i want a home not a room differing notions of comfort

Studiengang

2011-04-28T19:54:00.001+10:00

how could i continue to forget the stupidity of others when the examples come thick fast continuous smacking in the face a brisk breeze act on all the information one has don't pay heed to the fear tactics employed the running around town look out here comes time come crushing down upon the skull upon existence did your get it all done too late forget it now worries no need for hot water now one has time for washing up after all that never worked out the heating system for oneself anyways happy to sit in the negligent cold nothing but the work around saving on the energy bill turn everything off not getting it together have to buy another one fork out of your own pocket no care on this side of the subjectivity write a note knew prior knowledge expected it to happen a takeaway service a reminder of one's own negligence relying on the other to act never in the aid of self let the kitchen sink be taken away again no one looks out for the value or use of objects for the other a continual battle to get anything off the ground a claim for land a stake a longing to get the project off the ground remove oneself from the physical getting in the way perceived as a junk collector how much of that do you want whatever could one do with all these things just because you do not see the value in ... casting dispersions and value systems in the street anywhere else and the critical engagement would carve you to pieces but here everyone else is living in their own ideal wonder land walking around with the eyes closed to the demise oncoming freight train impact blown back to the stone age here comes the flood...

das Opfer

2011-04-13T02:28:00.002+10:00

pouring whatever nourishes you back into the body settle for nothing less than that filter out deadly poisonous shit in whatever forms that may come in no matter how bright the packaging in the first instance packaging is a pretty good sign of shit good shit has no need to sell itself in attractive appearances or clever jingles switch yourself onto recognitive mode of the bodily feedback cycling into a head wind weather watch on rain change sun shine passes between cloud schizophrenic conditions informing qualities of mood people living within a change as quick as the weather can only be afforded by city landscapes auf dem land all is calm and quiet standard norms of behaviour pressing firmly on the border controls from the centre of the metropolis hired thugs hoon around asserting the sticking points of how we do things round here play the tourist card a god like image swallows one whole eighty percent of Berlin's income generated elsewhere how about sorting that shit out before wallowing within the rot ampel of a fahrrader quaint policy making the way things are done is what the point of fighting over is all about riding the wave of cultural domination ought never to have walked away without enacting Carthaginian peace this head will rise up again a fear that breeds troublemakers and enough of the horde that will never remember that will never learn the yes man for a staggeringly sickening argument of twisted logic since when has the best for all not benefited the individual what is the all compromised of if not individuals a linguistic sticking point a notional concern of ideal arriving at a firm conclusion in the realisation to be carried out as such pulling at the other one i cannot get a grip on the absurdity talk walk stalk you are made of chalk wash away begat and gone

abholen

2011-04-12T04:18:00.002+10:00

plenty more to grasp lieing already on the ground all around bend over take the time examine well and consume just what about the animal instincts can i let go jumping out of control get a handle on this animal put one in place yell and get under wing nothing so much to raise the voice i need not to outside the subtle pulling along but inside the home screaming contests are building up on the level of taking a seat sit lie down stay carry nothing like the weight of meaning to accrue action very little to nothing forthcoming especially today of all days out of touch in a particular way running amuk an overenergised searching through the possible limits of exertion not on a particular destructive mode or habit just one of complete disobedience what is the expectation of getting something out of doing something going for walks the getting back what one puts in leftovers for lunch tomorrow back up a pie those fruits have got to go just not for it in the fresh eating variety a poor choice nothing of the quality sourced from where i hail from this mixed blood cheap labour far and wide travel distances no one has any sense of quality what fruit could taste like the doubling over overwhelmed in taste sensation an intensity growing up with a budding explosion of colour flavour nutrient culmination in a single object

take note today i fed another whom i have never seen so much as lift a pan from the cupboard shelf as to even look as though he would know what to do with it but i have seen a single dish present itself out of the convenience of the deep freeze a cheesy conglomeration packed under crumbs baked sided by fried zucchini who knows i may even turn that down if it were offered just a forlorn look he was driven to ask for a little bit of food einbisschen zu essen no bitte no danke turned down an offer for more as i got up to get myself another helping excusing thyself to run off to work sitting all this time on the couch beer in hand dozing to youtube clips returning home without subsistence from the outside world i see nothing of the garden being turned for fruits of labour the sour sod ought to be eliminated from sight

aufgeben

2011-04-07T02:20:00.003+10:00

what of the composition appearance of the otherwise than a façade of confidence hold a position in theory but self destructing on the inside scathing comments long eyed looks hold a silent repose nothing can touch me down here in the i don't care disregard throwness suspicion for all else open for a surprise just surprise just surprise written off thrown out without attention go on and do something extraordinary

piecing together the paperwork for an extended stay what of the other intentionalities possible outcomes the bicycle coming through the door walk through an apartment like there is nothing in the room an exercise in solipsism a persuasive argument love to hold onto but the foundational tenants of which presuppose the notion of something other an opening in the subjectivity to the other as certain possibility however this by no means goes so far as to justify the conscious activity of perceptions of the field the input receptors reading in so far as they are written onto and ascribe into

where does feeling come into a process of recognition where does phenomenal experience come into a process of recognition what are the correlates between phenomenal experience and conscious experience further how can these be mapped onto representations of the biological body the corpus what are representations of the corpus what is the ontology constructing the knowledge of a body where grows the tree of values within this system of knowledge who are the claimants practicalities use application get a little ahead of oneself considerations only remain on the hypothetical theoretical leave something for the sociologist a bone for a dog that has outgrown its domesticity a city castaway a lonely rescue for the symptoms of the sufferers of ego in a modern age needful of the other as a means an object to extend a will over to exercise control

from whence this desire to control

preparation prevents piss poor performance

kein entshuldigung

2011-04-05T09:17:00.003+10:00

quick lap dance round the room dog shit vomit and piss spread evenly throughout all available living spaces got to laugh at the face of it no skin of this nose a lucky through gate sleeping relatively easy where does someone else's hound become my problem have a heart to care look i am not taking it out on the dog nothing of the sort but pick up your own game responsible mum gettin pissy at the flatmates get onto yourself where do you rest on the abilities of the other where do you get reliability from how to assert your assumptions why place the blame in a short through sentence and we are done i don't have an excuse i don't need one

abgeholt

2011-03-29T07:22:00.002+11:00

no goodbyes putting oneself in the self ascribed position all those things she said she hated in other people she is representing manifestation in the self getting into an untenable position knows it all too well let fly off the hook stepping back over those very words just flowing from the mouth only tripping self up i have nothing to do but wait watching placing within self life is always sweet never optimal a constant falling an over exploitive exploration of the surrounding areas never tried to overextend

linking arms a painful way to say anything not getting into the mental space whatever that may be wherever the occupation is what do people do on their days off what do people do at all fitting in filling the holes try not to step on toes always an excuse me ringing off in the distance getting just a little too close use the infinitive not always mixed with the present past present habitual actions in the past losing any and all sense of walking scenery get out for a walk amongst the street life and then to bed got nothing more in my head put off homework til morning no state of affairs to think through grammatical indexicals calling in favours for the poor and untimely lack of consideration policy in force ego plays out the victim role think of someone else for a change start by thinking of me a laughable example i don't need to think of you since you is already doing more than enough thinking of youmeself

damit

2011-03-24T09:23:00.002+11:00

running expending fluctuating tying overextending bodily energy levels on a tide wake and sleep whenever are the patterns realigned a late one off rising at the usual hour how is more sleep required where are the recuperation levels tied to the concentration an ongoing pursuit in the ideal of learning under the threat of constant change extinguishing the consciousness so far dwelling dawdling dwindling in decadence on outwardly turned beast consuming all in its wake worn out for it and to eventually discard itself in its own affluent inland lakes windsurfing windskating aerodrome nautical miles covered whatever of the distance your standing over any direction from here is closer to home for me without leaving the atmosphere jettisoning off into the space between spaces here is as far away as i can get from anything yet amongst those sources of fear and paranoia that have get those authorities of government up off the ground protect me i am a citizen ready to become a subject place me under the protection of the law and i will obey the law how shall this law be enforced a retrospective retroactive punishment penal system prohibitive and exclusionary put the dog outside let it fend for itself amongst the wasteland the other world that which is exploited and dumped upon here we have the Roman problem bundled over again a creation of a place for problems undefined locations milling together under multiple conditions of hatred spite revenge stupidity intelligence as justly misdirected as those same virtues values conditions characteristics as within the inside of the operative under the law safe as house so long as their is a wall impenetrable deep long permanent

spazieren gehen

2011-03-20T03:56:00.002+11:00

dog gone walkabouts another chance gone begging another live in romance gone awry words on a page the message has been chewed up and spat out no longer able to carry altered in its arrangement figure distorted nonsense forming emotion all this logic surely came out of illogic a chaotic miss a primordial is and so logic still sits in this mess unable to lift itself out of the context from which it was derived e+ stopping on each corner just to peer into a kneipe an out of the way place a football field concrete sand cut down goals an arrangement of play no need to run as far overlapping repetitive actions and plays cannot stop them all a matter of odds and conditions variable framework without formal certainty that is the conditions upon which the result relies are unknown in measurable quantities informal indicators of skill and performance a masked utopia for outlying parameters of qualification searching out avenues of participation i just need better pr or a spokesperson on the outer rim with all those tyres hitting the ground something to feedback the gear changes pressure on the rim from the brakes the continue cutting underneath from bitumen to pavement to cobbles to earth never enough earth feel grass underfoot these souls were designed to pick something up out of the heart and feed ourselves a plant nutrient resource getting a hold digging into the ground a little bit of down time marching about underneath the passageways the cellars open air grills dog piss dribbling through another little reminder unplanned consequences alright for the well trained those that uphold standards of behaviour but the lines are never quite there only partially placed on this side of the subjectivity and anything enforcing codes ought to be resisted at any rate the crippling of institutional freedom by lust and greed of the individual the rampant egotism under organisation and partial satisfaction illusion and disillusionment the passage is a little too long

besetzten

2011-03-07T05:01:00.002+11:00

caught wayfaring in the sun dilly dallying on the train tracks wait a while hold me back i am in a rampage coursing down the main artery out of the city sixty mile an hour down from your high horse right and responsibility falls where i am not putting my neck out get caught on the withdrawal more work for the troops who make it back to home base no shortcutting for you my friend supposed to leave from the assumed safety of home base this is an on the flight negotiation change rear the head in disagreement where is the level of trust the treatment of individual oh the law is getting in the way said personified insignificant the birthing ground for rebellion treat me as i am a child but do not baby me institutions of protection for whom get yourself to the top of the ladder as quickly as possible and sit stay dog boned dilemma so many scratching around for tarred up elephant remains a bigger faster animal on the horizon hand me a task to complete in a welcome area assert a little self control over the communal space seek out periods of vacancy all to one's self nothing so much as a whisper coming from a dull knock on the door a field of agency made available by absence a four hour chunk five out of every seven days consecutive twenty hours the routine the mixing with others and the explanation couple that with tuesday thursday friday write offs the week is quickly filled to the brim energy levels copping a large output on the to be desired activity wishlist accelerated learning or the death drive in a new operand wherefore draw the line a period in which activity x27 began continued ceased next epoch please take a number sit count the passing of the clock another tick in the margins keeps the weekend monday and wednesday to dedicate an equal twenty hours in two days and two evenings three each evening seven each day a throwaway cuff here and there waitpersons finding a bill on their side of the subjectivity where has honesty thrown itself later a receipt falling to the floor wherever was the urge to at least search so sure was the placement of our imagination in the action of memory bringing forth to the current situation each party held in disbelief as to certainty of the others claim in the end how can the representative care more than the presentative actual fatigue manifestation

Leipziger Platz

2011-03-04T11:11:00.004+11:00

stop check out a geographical representation a destination in mind an escape from the elements a new beginning begins again circuitous endings arriving at flowing into the centre along southern arterial from feet to heart to head only to lodge somewhere in the gullet looking for reproduction anything with a laser paper negative projector recorder cast away materials gathered up to give that lived in homely feeling winter storage for warmth hibernate on a sidewalk swept into the undergrowth being trimmed out of sight flagrant vagrant beauties are not to be held onto just a passing phase nothing so life changing permanent structures must have their universal functionality instilled from the ground up something to walk on another to walk under a little to lean on whilst unpacking the tools for sandwhich making one sharp knife and the imagination broken into pieces open every storage compartment every cavity is a hiding place every body a vessel every pen a possibility no standing orders a lunch in the sun complete with walking glances of not quite knowing and not quite caring all inbetween sliding scales of judgement but these rays cannot penetrate the newly arrived not yet can one be displaced from an arrival is this the same spot the very same place everything looks out of order a little different where was the bench the watering can the out of reach toilet a ramp off the street onto flat off street portable homecare turn your map inside out play it from ear from here let a breeze catch your hair heading into the centre and when you are there all is still everywhere but here settled stilled not silenced not satisfied crawling on their sides churning for yet another go give them these striding land rovers persistence and present a positive light to character that will not give up the hold of upturned reason given that one accepts the assumptions follow through to the conclusions and damn any unlikeable results teetering amongst the edges setting up shop shanty shelters hail a bus get me down from this hill over the canal over the river into the east now west loud now quiet restrained now entertained the wind leaves nothing unchanged here is erosion building up afresh ever another view another beauty catching eyes nose and mouth hold my hand take me out show me the sights left by others with another idea here is the burial ground here is the birth place carried away to grow guided return to rest a leaf bursts out green and falls to the brown earth waiting with patience beyond those trampling mammals speak easy clams hugging walls riding trams insisting another chance to be green another day in the sun to feel warm again and smile happily i have seen you before i know these lips and heard these words but i feel bare and cool whips across my forehead these fingers have lost sensation i must eat but my sack is empty elsewhere beckons reckons seconds pass a third time a fourth never to sit in the same place rising up on the wave of all coming to a point culmination expectation exasperation here i am
what next

durcheinander

2011-02-25T04:35:00.002+11:00

crawl inside a little further i am surprised that anything gets out these days where lies the motivation compiling lists further the studies to grasp a hold of yet another other wrapped up in the concerns of people wandering the earth self possessed troglodytes scouring every inch for another resource feeding on the waste mechanisms of a 'higher order' society this is called the trickle down effect right down there in the bottom there is no use for a filter need the quantity for intake eating trash the throwaways incensed out kicking back here within the tower am i still in a position to remove myself i cannot remove myself i have burrowed further deeper closer to the artery the mainstay ahah so it is as i suspected all along the signs are self evident the lies unnecessary the population a crime unto itself where does stupidity arise from wherefore are the aims and intentions directed if you are going to sit there and tell me that beauty is purely subjective existing within the individual as a capacity to admire who the hell was the first being to admire and who the hell taught that being to admire the argument sinks into infinite regress a symbolic system of aesthetic ranking arises from within a training ground i think not but a play between perception and that being perceived a growing accustomed to in that sense there must also be something universal in the applicable world of senses that one is growing accustomed to be that an arrangement or category racing to catch the thought wave stuck in an atmosphere of study directing conscious efforts not on a thought itself but on another mode of thinking of a mode of expression a language another realm of thought cross breeding reading in the similarities and differences a long haul misunderstanding piecing together not altogether new sounds symbols machine gun rattles of meaning here a new place space for editorial jiving no jabbering tongue denials into the microphone the keyboard layout is a mess a rife with making nothing more easier than the mistakes of a typo a regress into non sense cut and paste treatises with a tendency top diverge and shatter crystalline patterns emerge and spellcheck gets in the way what of the new wave the slippage the interruption is from a machine is this still a hangover from someone else an editor over the shoulder hanging within the tailcoats of programming a misforgiving assumptions in the form the ideal the correct already presupposes the possible outcomes of what is to be written as though the alphabet was not enough of a restriction here comes the hard and fast laws of linguistic nuts fastening the screws on a living mutation sure fire way to kill stop it from growing changing adapting to environs the pressure stress wielding fear angst apartheid struggle will quicken any lifespan to a death throw
backspace over the period the full stop the conclusion a remark to end upon a note a getting to somewhere where there is nowhere else to be got no longer an escape on the planet the untouched are seen and reserved on the outside of society here comes brave new world what of the fringes that Huxley would have re-written had he the inclination into the dystopia envisaged the naturally inclined border types who strive to survive in shanty towns supported by the trickle down effect surely he was thinking of Africa here the scapegoat of Europe the never going to evolve out of the place from whence we all came this is how we treat our mother she can do nothing but love us and so the pillage continues relentlessly we will ask for more and she will give more than she can drained are the energies that a child thought were without end

preis-leistungs verhältnis

2011-02-21T09:23:00.002+11:00

what more is there to read to write to speak to hear out of those language and into the next there is no complete immersion the mother tongue occupies territory that it will never give up language is more than an arrangement of sounds there is a reference system historic as much as it is living flexible and regional universal in structure specific in content deceive itself at every breath never bending an hypocritical eye for language lacks action it is always only one half of the being projecting itself into another place a vicious game of hide and seek with self the ephemeral non-substance receding ever further into the horizon as this body attempts to step closer to it chasing a shadow this damnable animal is subject to a complex social web that is constructed on the basis of the sense site specific distraction keeping the animal moving let it not sit still let not the people sit under the sun and for their shadow to come to them under the harsh noon light a clarity of everything under the sun inactivity an end to consumption a consideration for those on the other side carrying the burden of excess of decadence in the half of the world that doesn't deserve to eat just desserts european ego delights in itself of all the things one cannot let go of even the high pedestal is cast to the ground in a dinner party for faux friends feeding on the shortcomings of others cast down in a light of not meeting expectations fooling no one meeting not even their own criteria you cannot convince someone to care all the information is there but the two hundred year old individual cast within two and a half thousand years of evil has nothing but itself to contend with and beyond the death of god what else is there but mankind to contend with act only in line with the profit margin it's not like we have only one planet and 'i' will never see the end of it already come and gone never had the eyes open wide enough to see it when it was hear nor the mind to grasp its passing if you cannot shoot through decadence then shoot through yourself

Bestätigen

2011-02-15T21:56:00.003+11:00

there is a hellhound on my tail whatever can i do lock myself in my room cold storage tinned food swiss knife got plenty to cut round here just passing time away occupation distraction keep those thoughts on the death drive a new flatmate every day just to keep the senses from building anything permanent anything that may have an attachment yeh i can smell it now for some reason perhaps in the pipes open up the doors fresh air stale air hanging in the doorways what needs a man to do

package arrives from nan a note to say hello bed socks to keep the feet warm and hankies to wipe the tears from the eyes whatever one can say there is always something left unsaid so goes discourse and open again are pathways for communication what could be more motivating than a response

confirmation of reception

eigener

2011-01-18T20:18:00.004+11:00

running out of paper scrawl on sugar instead move the habits around in a cup of tea no one here believes so long as i can hold off understanding at least for a little while longer cannot engage when i am thrown to the wayside as unintelligible store up a little more time to self increase productivity self wrought iron fly on the wall layabout nothing compiling stories on what one ought not to understand ought not to hear

i clean the walls

the images are not as forthcoming as the thoughts the light is all wrong got to remedying that as soon as possible and no another arrangement no one can stay still for long around here the transience is permeating the skin catching the viewers gaze only for a moment how much attention could one possibly hope to entertain in this over sensitised monotony modern world twelve months on an editing process pouring over the remains of a bleeding heart

the boy's an artist

Die Aufklärerin

2011-01-18T03:31:00.002+11:00

assert those requirements that meet self substantiated ends they will be aligned with those of the same substance compromise is only reached when the needs of self are not known unsubstantiated without clarity as creature features would have it only consciousness may expatriate representations of concept sonic visual et al representations must be formed by the body as to be seen in direct relation to identity so as to convey operative dimensions such as time and space (place) all actions carried forthwith ought to be determined failing such a fragile conception of world tumbles folds in upon itself and is promptly consumed by the monsters of social organisation systematic isms and habituated rhythms handed down (pre)fabricated institutions sweeping out the possibility of accomplishment imaginative aspect of the for-consciousness whilst installing a sharp edged monolith of single task group activity of which ends are obscured by the very machinations of such a program so as to encourage enforce and ensure the continued prolonged participation of the walking flesh bones and grey matter that are decoding deprogramming shutdown restart

Schützen

2011-01-18T02:41:00.003+11:00

hit on a topsy turvy stereotype vice found in the extremes not cool on the tricks played she is just another spin a free forming decadent model of decay of no worth

get out of the rack jack just no standing back what is there to like in a kid who has a pedestal putting her out of reach from the society her ideals want to deliver into the world

a no standing policy she plays all the nice games learning only once the game is over to break the soft news holy empire strike force gutted team nothing move bullocks

nothing looking like breaking out of the mould not one little bit
do you want these guys to die
i am doing my best to convert what i have no point preaching to the converted whitewash your walls and re engage the brain do not swallow any regime or doctrine whole ... chew first have a taste develop discretion and do not forget to go to toilet to spit shit and vomit

easy for you coming from the side of the exploiter how about an examination of the source from which your interpretation is derived can i undo the brainwashing do i want to

left is down right is around

2011-01-17T12:34:00.002+11:00

up right
down right
up right
right
down
right right

schwer

games for the middle of the night

möglichkeit

2011-01-15T12:37:00.004+11:00

tid bits hanging over the edge i still enact a do as thou wilt policy of ego destruction engaged in watching the world traverse itself millions of times over never satisfying those cries of the other a non-indifference to difference that does not draw lines in the sand the thou-i distinction washed away but every little other likes to hold onto it ever moreso and let them too leaping into the far corners of the sky in an attempt to escape this open air prison four mice in a glass box how many more crawling up the walls the quarter to ten visitor does not use the front door prefers windows in whatever german i could muster got the fellow to move along stay tuned for a repeat performance as we are seemingly on his way from and to somewhere perhaps it is only a weekday routine not a large enough sample as to go about declaring a trend of all things passing through this part of town nothing seems to hang around long enough to be called a trend already lost one flatmate up for grabs moving further out to the limits of Berlin where the apartments are even cheaper and the train rides a little longer a sensational playground if you are into television electric blue is the colour of his room where he will live when the brakes are applied there is a blatant lack of socialism round here the ability to live with people no cause for compromise no ability to talk through or engage in diplomacy and here i must fault both sides where i must possess extraordinary patience and-or aloofness to be cruising along so securely with both persons involved friction arising in the usual places but nothing to get heated up about dealing with bigger personal issues of existential and ethical bases to be overly concerned with the placement of objects in physical space no one can eject a thing out of the universe well at least not within modes of operation that utilise this body i am looking for the source of the solidity of truth being thrown about in this three bedroom apartment concepts formed in another language i just do not have the tools to shear them down cross analyse and de-construct so there they sit stayed and ready for the next iceberg persistent suckers sticking to a single easy to reach corner no matter how one fills a space with necessities and comforts the wild animal fails to repress a nature of freedom to hell with these imposed restrictions i am breaking out of here even if it leads to a circumstance worse than the status quo on paper even if it leads to death for the fulfilment of the desire of freedom is the foundation for life

das Internet jetzt functioniert

2011-01-08T06:12:00.001+11:00

more to come

selbstprüfung

2010-12-03T04:21:00.002+11:00

generally upbeat mood with bouts of introspection today the outside perspectives came hailing in from all directions an almost complete three hundred and sixty degree view no need for chemical stimulation the signification machine is working marvellously without any call for concern or otherwise dubious respects my little brain is under strain just trying to get a grasp on what this body is perceived to be doing nothing matching up with the perpendicular frenzy of inarticulate nothing a void into the night just heading out to grab a bite to eat with friends and then a stroll out on mehringdamm what is the harm none none intended put out a welcome sign to all and every involved set up little catch cry traps act in an absorbed manner whereas all else could be absolved in complete isolation alas i have stumbled across the go get 'em attitude a participatory remark not an activity left unguarded always enjoyed the nothing more to be said tell you about it whenever i get the urge put me up on the wall what is it that i am not interested in the workings out of the other biped passing in and out of phases sure i will come along and have a look see but not really something i would do in home ground perhaps the feelings are different given the changed circumstances heading in and out like a paper doll where are the care lines drawn what is the speaking carpet introduction live in accommodation welcome to a new lifestyle never quite got the hang of pulling out in a respectable fashion got to get that kind of action down pat no matter how ugly it may feel or look another insignia for the blind another would be patronage in a lifetime of suggestiveness could be sitting anywhere in the world doing this but i have to be somewhere whatever and ever amen kant never left the home town i suppose that is where one is and has to be somewhere but god bless my cotton socks here i am born into the decadent age of travel of sightseeing the history has already been made just sit back and watch it on your tv screen when it is too cold to step outside plenty of bullshit in the dishwater swallow it all down one gulp

never noticed that i don't ask people to accompany me the lone shark strikes again affronting the sensibilities of those more social bipeds always weeding in and out of an occasion protruding a presence beyond the incessant beat of a heart an ability to sit through the collapse of world exterior a world of appearances written off in any short term sense only as an informative and stimulus a living referdex of the thought strokes of the internal monologue streaming into a universe a conceptual framework of inhabitation

all it takes is a word and the notion of truth what was how it was is blown away like a powder cake all i pretend to have in any act of communication is how it appears to me and even then this includes the usage of the medium in which the communication exists part and parcel what of it i know has been encouraged down my throat like liquorice for the first time forever getting easier to swallow til one day one mistakes repulsion for enjoyment where in the world has this acclimatisation got us if not the ability to sit through the decline all the while documenting the unseen unnavigable paths of the mind

können

2010-12-01T00:25:00.003+11:00

free form obscure nothingness jotting down the ones and zeroes still getting the öpsilon and set mixed up on the spelling error list when will the codes ever sink in give it ten or so years then only the accent will be caught out on the highways where is it that you are from wo kommst du heer stand out placard reimbursed in the road but keeping alive for now in warmed solace not quite getting the interactive burst an all too familiar sting better left unsaid turned inside out rotting in the corner covered over consider it compost help the flowers next spring but for now just let it bleed

run out of beat

schnee

2010-11-26T23:52:00.002+11:00

MASSIVE

drift factor coming out over the horizon open your mouth wide and close your eyes walk into an alley a graveyard churchyard cinciatti streetscape get rid of all that extra baggage some lift up advice from another climate how we survive and service on this part of the rock no linking arms no weedy industrial frontage car lined streets glistening under cold a white blanket no illusion of warm but covering none the less blown away with a breath a sneeze a cough shrinking away

plans out into the ether counting the ways what is said and how it is said the difference between what is understood and what is meant what is the expression again i am always forgetting starting from scratch no other like it i mean that is a horse racing term how could you have not immersed within that surely it was thrown about like a donkey's arse

i just fail to see how that is a problem i guess you begin to make it my problem but then it is mutated of course i can nip the grievance in the bud by solving your problem but then it might be the case that it is less effort on my behalf to merely solve the mutation upon which you have bestowed upon me a symptomatic solution for what appears to me as only a set of symptoms in proximity at no point is the other's happiness seeping in anywhere but on the intimate realm and if you do not show the reciprocity expected than pleasure is lacking losing the motivation to continue a discourse between bodies leading to disinterestedness and eventual neglect is this where we sign off

i am bursting cherries all over again
how sweet the sound

möglich

2010-11-25T01:30:00.003+11:00

just getting around a new medium a new routine a time filling long lock interruption machine on the thought of being quicker ready to use at any moment but the time consuming device is in its ability to trace the lost thoughts the dreaded nothing but fact gathering hunt and destroy mission a correction against the mirror of the world represented in nothing but the graphic representation of digits excuse me is that in ternary or binary flickering reminders of the structure one is working within getting into all that other stuff i never real had the inclination to explore but considering the circumstances throw one old self to the wind embrace the illusion for a moment may as well be a lifetime induced into the cinemascope of operation here is the rub a form of operation within a framework of ideas measured to the extent one wants to participate what are the contexts in which information is gathered concept alteration permutation a turning becoming an opening

the screen is dead the mode over dictates the content already formed thought must be dictated upon the face otherwise lost to the light show an indistinct world of metaphorical representation thrown into the face this mirror is too clear the coming going interactive born without is fast disappearing here comes the shock what is it to be without

nothing linking arms like lastnight i cannot sleep how about you i wont think about it if you dont convenient crossover best method of keeping warm over a cold winter is to find something warm to hug let us say that you have what we call potential

me and my baby

2010-11-18T20:02:00.002+11:00

where to begin always sitting on the mind never let go having already launched oneself no other beginning left behind in a reckless man words pouring in through the ears out the fingers have that tongue open up a new sound chase around the errors the mistakes the fear of understanding and being understood what goes in one ear and what stays thrown around inside the head putting together a story a web of intrigue and meaning out there on the sonic level more than the la-fell more on than off twitching signs of perhaps one understands get that one half way back to the sleeping map prepared responses nothing quick enough to engage nothing quick enough to incite wherever could the possibility of interest lie except on the fringe of bothering about a snicker in the woods got to be ongoing discreet about what i think and feel the conduits for internal transfer are not as open as what one is accustomed to misunderstood in a whole new way making forever more new allowances throwaway the subtle turns speak down without being an arsehole about it just spit out the required information with any luck turn the exercise into tongue practice but the french style is lacking not as much effort with the bodies but still rife none the less not quite on the level as of yet a existential disregard for all that emotional building up support framework get out on the edge and live there it is too crowded on the soft spots of grass and covered arenas of emotional shelter create your own land build out into the ocean on the air in the wind a construction of the mind putting the heart to rest if only for a little while then beating again against the door in a time of its own but with a rhythm as old as the ear put away those blasted tapes and microphones stop still and listen so that you give yourself the chance to hear it step out of those all familiar linguistic sounds of caution and well trodden verse phraseology context driven shorthand versions of pointing toward something or another keep rolling

step into the same room and head a different way

one oh ate

2010-11-17T11:05:00.002+11:00

retrospective chat drawing a line from here to there and back again nothing ever picks up from where it left off his name was writ in water this one in sand never again will i lend a hand a muscle too far stretched too far gone none of the previous understanding searched out and sprawled over the continent coming up for oxygen and finding only a photograph of you faded out of hue next time i will save myself

2010-11-09T23:01:00.002+11:00

continue taking in all the new aspects of the emotional spectrum that unfurls living out the dream post dream nightmarescape that we all wrote about as children those stories our parents watch on television because they chose otherwise they chose life there was no other choice present it as the better option to make them feel better before they expire themselves into a memory and then nothing more later we will sell our decisions to ourselves as the more responsible decision not the best not the ideal but what had to happen because you were existing beyond yourself in and for something bigger than the human race for something that looks after us and does not need us to look after it in the same stroke bacteria look after us a not so inconsiderate existence coincidence an arrangement that works that had to be deletion incurs that paranoia optic only open the guidelines for editing and requisitioning on the material let not this misaligned additional features distract the machine from its task putting out there elsewhere another image of ... cut up already written in there-here become the energy contingent putting a hand to altering only the way of perceiving not the thing being perceived not that i am endorsing the existence of a thing but i cannot discredit the possibility of a thing so let us ensure that the operation works in all possible scenarios where the given is unknown-unknowable

little semblances of signs cross over and the tongue is turning to the phase in which english occupies its german counterpart another set of joint vocabulary a way of speaking left long ago to rot in the halls of libraries a text book affair not so much as though we have put a significance of type or soul on the label as we have with the so named classics latin and greek or to a limited extent the romantics clearly fulfilling a purpose in expression and acquisition of a species of content absorbed and amalgamated into the english pseudonym no such luck here this is a deeper impression of the internal reflection of an unquestioning certainty the deep ideals of language before i started paying any heed to what other words may have meant coming from another source not of my mouth

2010-11-02T10:04:00.000+11:00

i just want to let you know that i am still reading everything you write, and i am still feeling something.

autumn

2010-11-02T02:01:00.002+11:00

once the got going always on forgotten where the why and the dreams are laid down on the ground the getting used to not saying much at all getting out all those vowel sounds and tongue between the teeth in a singing fiasco any more work like this and i will be hitting the streets busking my way to heaven i am just going to want to bust out with a little communication sooner than later and it has got to be in another tongue to be understood round here this is what immersion is all about in the midst of it creating another life for self creating another self shutting down one mode of expression to build up another took twenty four years to get where i is and i'm trying to do half of that in six months the keys are already there the short gap stop links and bridges synaptical errors nothing about unlearning just stop the usage and make mental notes of everything no point taking a scrap book with you this is talking we are discussing here and nothing works with a referdex that slow this is off the cuff kind of behaviour ready steady reply get on with the work what is it rot or grun and where fuck is the umlaut on this keyboard that will be the next miracle of technological learning on this little train ride the shortcut syndrome an out of synch world i am learning about get enough similarity together and create a world to yourselves picking apart the little differences borrowing and stealing from whatever may creep in and out they once tried a wall for a border here but it did not work quite now they are pouring in from every which where some say there is a final solution but i have heard that rhetoric before it is depressing to hear people say why do i need to learn about history when i know right from wrong just going about getting my fix and then go on give me your opinion where in the world do you sit and how high are your judgements from which well do your values spring

Dresden

2010-10-11T20:08:00.002+11:00

catastrophic heart failure pull the plug get up and take your first steps in a very long walk toward rather than away at some point the distinction collapses but the trick is maintaining such long enough for someone else to start maintaining it for you always a good trick smoke and mirrors dazzling bright lights intoxicants fistful of dollars trying to hold my head up on a block of mistakes grazed wounded embittered bodies are piling up bigger bigger bigger up and away restorative brilliance nothing like the new old coming back to life old ideas new methods of employment depreciation saturday night callings unknown distance separates us will be through the door in no time at this rate throw up a slab of concrete nothing so discrete as to annihilate the border between the two of us forgotten what we were forgiving don't worry i will never forget you can't tell you why not that the lightening would come and strike me down for the sake of telling you why but that you would not be able to hold your tongue and the word would spread like god making my existence a difficult entreaty fuelling the source of ego destruction throwing up another word never used let me take you on a conceptual voyage through an understanding of appearances that is totally unfamiliar to you in similar sounds but another language hide me behind tongues i don't want to be seen sleeping in under cover heavyweight layabout hold me in your arms it is cold in here and the heating takes too long to warm my bed is so far away hold me hold me hold me so ensues messages of mixed variations switching on off first times for everything getting used to the unbelievable you will be the first to know when i begin to believe but don't hold your breath the air is not suitable for the exercise wearing out the lungs the ears the heart can i just put a pause on all this noise it is interference i have stopped hiding my diffidence let this totality split itself forever onwards

that's not how i would put it
how would you put it
a little lower and facing the other way
which way
here
like that
uhuh
no no no how would anyone know what the hell you are doing or what you are on about
...
silence is not helping your plight
may we just allow the object to which i have given voice the opportunity to speak

spaghetti turns

2010-09-25T14:24:00.002+10:00

empty graze filter catch me out on the wire hanging thread bare cut me down save a breath or two quick short jab to the stomach the sort that leaves me heartless cold running about town threatening self with sharp objects and usual paranoia sleepless early morning spam sessions assert the options deepen the quicksand love that sinking feeling destroy hope hopscotch leap to an uncertain conclusion messing about with those most sensitive edges of being put into sharp focus those peeps on the couch zoning in and out head filled days english anachronisms how far out of date still edible shat out spin doctor friend local sleepover feel better cuddles no warmth beyond neptune frozen ocean try not to let the heat seep out of your heart everything seizes ceases up following on from falling dominoes house of cards jack high bonanza no trumps call add twisting tricks pulling faces some worth more than others empower the little ones a trick or two to carry round the world just pull out the game unfamiliar knee the familiar is more friendly cast the need to win aside and place the barrel to the chest surrender ego identity up to the senses lost into a mix of wellbeing for pleasure meets cynical uncertainty drift ego walkabout cultures go on get up get dressed see a sunrise forget about rest

ENCLOSURE

2010-09-12T20:12:00.003+10:00

instant buzz craze wandering over new ground in old ways different mistakes same terrain another language same tongue whatever could one hope for you are holding in your hand sing songs cut flowers chocolate late misgivings renew those flesh wounds never let them heal long distance out of the reach let me be the catalyst for change never changing a redundant leftover to tipped out over and with the dish water could clear up and out forget the logo go under dismiss those welcoming arms one more time dashing heart against head hold you forever just like those hopes you have dancing under sleeves colourful dresses montage daylight is another thing from the darkness of night that disguises a face softens features let me forget the accent old phrases continued longing a haul over drowning head immersion subsistence a piss in bushes and there goes any and all contact with the world take my body i don't need it any more

unsent letter

2010-08-22T18:42:00.002+10:00

M,
hello - I'm an Australian travelling around the Will on...and the banality of subject material bores me to tears where is the rewind lever a restart button a cognitive development apparatus in intertwining lives save but the winds take their turn and accept no responsibility for the impending life twists and fits that shape conscious effort the bear trap fishing line pregnancy abortion drink driving swimming upstream throw everything in kids family money status burn down the farm along with guitars remove two fingers never again make love or speak your mother tongue shave your hair til it grows another colour but what of your eyes in which one may only tell the truth how will you change them will you tear them out how may mine hold back the emptiness behind the infinity that stops me breathless and caught flinching with sincerity again misunderstood across the woven medley of potential understandings of commonplace occurrence building reference systems of communicative behaviour say what you mean and mean what you say a place that serves shots in doubles take a number join the queue select a weapon of choice and cross your fingers that their is still flesh enough to beat to flay when your number is up
h

dont rain on my parade

2010-08-09T00:39:00.003+10:00

Utrecht
Netherlands

glow work worm finger licked legging up the canal sideways exploratory abandon where is the direct physical third person reasoning begin to get into justifications again whereabouts is one located and the whyfores the how comes to what ends a purpose justifying the means coming together to dance a single night a few wee hours a sunrise train trip slipping through paved city streets so close cosy and personal this is all they needed all the space one could ill afford transportation means getting out and around fill it all in so there is now outside only inside walls of protection from cold rain hail sleet snow blizzard drift wind chill bite claustrophobia not the right climate for tomato and avocado growing but there are just some things one cannot do without once bitten twice smitten cute hysterical girl meets girl story at the end of any otherwise cheerful yet uneventful night of possibility ditch the couch on which one may stay the night keep the friend lingering in the halls well after bed time no use for the sightless to be looking never once known one to be in the wrong place any place same result pending confirmation documented asserted official confirmation words come as slowly as ever emanating from beyond the throat and tongue wherever they land how will these new concepts and sound creep into a usage beyond the everyday a blended spaghetti mess of unconstituted meandering meaning munt sybil follow sybil image line vision placed appropriated cut up patchwork pistache getting and feeing
klaus

wake up it is time to
go
turn off your computer

sprache sprechen

2010-08-03T19:57:00.004+10:00

Berlin
Berlin-Brandenberg
Germany

like a little running around broken chains hang up arguments never thought the speaking comes over the wall so easily no need to shout i can hear well enough the enormous plenitude devastating space i will sweep in and sweep out determined to burrow as deeply as one can find an out of reach place with or without water fill these notebooks empty this head the bed the dread rain falling after days of sunshine what else could come in changeable weather street search climbing walls living projects translation issues international english don't look at native speaking as a disadvantage this is a city of becoming clear away the rubble still not starting from scratch but near enough a cultural extravaganza beyond imagination quotable verse lock a suitcase in the underground shut down the rail open night buses this is not new york you doing good kid real good no need to run off at the mouth get carried away plenty of time to suss out blow some steam get a feel grasp a commonality let go of this wild and wicked tongue never to be seen all over again bah friends lock them in a room with no food for a week and then you will know friendship easy to share more than what one can do with a running overflow of stock in hand goods

reparations out to lunch any one for a coal flavoured winter white drizzled affair in the best of it nothing below two below one gets that good going feeling that after something so harsh a mild climate is setting in stay a little warmer for longer never got that hot can't get that cold (again) but this is a first time observation best to be in the organised centre of it all business as usual none of the stress and panic of shutdown disorganised mess british subjects do not even listen to themselves put on another cup of tea and sit through the stinging days nothing more to comfort do not wait around all day for a contact to contact those leaving fleeting flaky shaked whisker breathes other striving moving creatures there are with enough strength to lift the lightest of fair travelling types up out of the messy flesh pit onto roofs of wonder karl marx sunsets

monumental

cross east to west let's see how the other half lives exclave enclave no ghetto patches bakery on every other corner but hard to find a photo technik market walk get to know for the sake of satisfying service demands population wealth generator leaps and bounds frog stomp stepping on gently numbers whisper french nothings to a companion but nothing keeps me honest like the image of you i carry around

open openness

2010-07-27T21:46:00.003+10:00

Koln
Koln/Bonn
Germany

take a little longer linger let last minute language lessons sink in mindset reset floundering all over again and again change tunes grasp a new colour taste sensation grain resource in high demand no need for lunch midday tunes when bread consumption is so high in fibre cereal burn our guitars put away instruments of self assertion immersion makes no sense if one does not get a little water in the lungs let the automated survival mechanisms to kick in and sweat out over what one has and what one wants soft comfy welcome into a home well operating machine efficiency in the character development person factory keep generations close by a hierarchy system benefits the whole so long as all members draw benefit in an independent interaction the machine continues to function bludgeon along gathering force and momentum flatten out all new prospects of influx evolve into a moveable feast absorption method so long as benefits remain convincing to the pitch that shoots through pinch those nerves out dreamscapes into all new significant note taking reel tape warehouse lobby overnight stay into the suburban self made mansion the castle of escape out of the weather beaten world of rain and epistemology oh look the sun shines on yea brightly covered green landscape nothing like a black forest for a welcome to an old country mothered in the motherland learned fatherland give me tools clear out this mild summer open the sky this limitless sensation needs a few boundaries a path already taken out of context let us not forget we are still crawling nothing to write home about not on two feet yet far from running a marathon still a slow sweat at twenty four i blame the humidity swell sweet smelling green house red tomatoes continue to flow out red stream enrich wherever one stands take a direction point and shoot aim high there is plenty around to drag you down

bibliotheque

2010-07-23T23:03:00.003+10:00

Annecy
Alps
France

what more could i say what more could i do
runabout mountain tops avoiding rain drops hazard indicators set to max what about the oil levels leave a streak from here to there this roundabout journey coming to an end without fanfare without proclamation without duty stampt tax or the foreboding warning signs of an apocalypse just another city a where to from here must be somewhere dump the shit down and start again in a different place make one wonder why the movement why the fuss in the first instance down the trough tough laugh out loud insomnia filled headache live ridden tick eaten bovine intestinal worms crunching at the sound of every tap of the keyboard every bitten fingernail no love lost no more could not count the ways in which hunger creeps up from behind and patronises the body come to the call and back the friendship that lasts forever a cat call a dog whistle a wolf howl snake bite trampling souls and every one of them owns two cars have to spend these little bits of paper transfer from one hand to another in exchange for something that burns better the trees cannot keep up with the demand snow falling on cedars warmth relegated to french chateaus a bear wrangler stuck in a grotte forgotten syndrome misdiagnosis bicycle over ride what in the world do you tak eback into your cave to enjoy for a private moment in one's own compay i get more of that without a cave outside in the movement of the weather than what i ever had standing still on the inside whereabouts known and grappled with however infrequently the ferocity was intense and burnt a little deeper inside that misapplied never understood region caestrum dig your heels in and take off

never wanted for anything
you filled me with your dreams
think nothing of their realisation on a path not of your own making
annecy

)°

2010-07-15T23:46:00.002+10:00

Marcillac,
Midi-Pyrenees
France

Belgium deviants sifting through south france skipping and hopping from festival to festival of the sonic kind attuning the ear to the senstive features of continental anglais the terms are present but there is a whole channel of pronunciation to navigate through towared around headspace conversational staring toing and and froing anchor points skittering through the air grasping and attaching gravitas at every itch just to make the sounds feel better a perceptual feast otherwise tuned out of the meaningfulness out of the loop a table flower contributing nothing but good looks and let us put up to the face a magnifying glass those good looks are just not there tis all the underneath persona a laughing ironic jaunt a twisting surfeit manner over the top defeatism put me down this cross does not suit the image being aspired to a sense of becoming without withing string a singalong at the very least hold a tune bring out the toys every one speaks a language of bodies noise and light a sensation holding onto threes two at a time dance with me prolegomena now sitting at machinery of what use has it become

¬

2010-07-07T00:46:00.004+10:00

Toulouse,
Midi-Pyrenees
France

a difficult freedom about town communicative agents are nowhere to be found working through problems of desire a utility without direction making contacts guelph and mcgelle (?) toronto and quebec respectively continental junctions in north america note jumping essential being non essential signing mysterious weaving breakfast in paris lunch in bourges dinner in toulouse spainish is proving more successful than french but this is my failing more than anything else see if i cannot find another yard to sleep in grab a map find a spot perhaps a compass or could i possibly fudge my way through tolls may be the death of me caught me at every stop on the way down but then i left myself a deadline and that's how they all catch us in the end a desire to which we are willing to pay the command is made from responsibility how do we apply the transcendental claim to the individual it has to work the whole way day kevin houser and joel krueger working on the more analytic side of continental radical on the side of the Levinas metaphysic sitting in a dorm feeling at home this body is craving a space of its own to sit to collect gather up to work on the detail to stop for an instant the constant barrage a place of constancy to keep work going on in the background holding onto ideas in a physical sense creating the working space one last one before a great walk through the pink city pick up ricoeur self as other a comparative dialectic at work hegel as the first to bring other into the self-consciousness

nutty mess

2010-06-24T09:04:00.002+10:00

Ros Lair
Wexford County
Ireland, The Republic of

this is the easiest mode of expression a holiday one can ill afford a time wasting affair a counter productive ambition motivator thrown self out of the system of understanding for the deeply entrenched always coming up against the harsh layers on the borders except here in this island the wanderer is easily treated and welcomed into every town don't try your luck in the cities unless you are game to put your livilihood onto the street and make a profit from friends and foe alike Cork is pretty expensive as all hell learnt a lesson in capitalist assertive behavior the consumer is operating in an international market over here in old Europe town and don't ever forget there are a dozen more places to take your business to and I will always have the time to go searching so don't settle for anything above the lowest you have paid to date and have them match it of course travelling those who are in the positions of control on the flow ways the roads the fuel the vehicles right down to the bicycle the waters the ferries the trains the buses planes motorcycles parking motorways laybyes tolls taxes if you can't walk or swim to it then one is in trouble no matter how else one is getting a round stake a claim forget the troubleshooting dillemmas next stop in a manner of speaking of permenance in which resources are readily available monetry reserves are going only ever into food next time I will make good on the dream of building a boat load it up with a bicycle a lightweight amphibuous craft propelled by legs and wind building up steam here we go slowly as the weather takes us it will provide both shelter and shade a beautiful young thing just stands in field of vision sandy blonde hair faded yellow t-shirt white sneakers jeans cut off above the knee black canvas slingover bag a captain's announcement of the safety awareness program followed by the pre recorded message whatever and ever turn up the sonic device drown out the outside world in the unlikely event of disaster cast me to the sea and let me be the unlikely drowned unknown with all the crap I carry around there is no doubt i'll surely drown how could one float this is the end of Ireland this boat to Pembroke completing a figure three schedule from Larne to Belfast following the old coast road to Galway no one told me I'd be entering the styx and so down I came bucket and all a great fall under gravel grave circumstances to follow from Galway through the middle Westmeadow County or some such where O'Dallaigh still live and toil later to pass through Smeen on the South coast in which a memorial honouring a Craig O'Dallaigh I stumbled upon in pausing for the best chips in Ireland alongside a lemon tart the best I've had in Ireland but not self professed the chips were worth writing home about from falling into the philosophy crowd in Dublin and aligning with Bloomsday of all the treats stumbling through a novel a waking dream began and woke into itself unready to be touched and fumbled ushering away offers with polite gestures and serene eyes natural beauty turn from terrifying to sublime to mundane from Dublin I ventured into the big hotspots of tourism Wicklow walks and monastic servitude the trick is to be earlier than the rest and then get the hell out of there the hordes are a sign that the major arteries are clear and at the sign of the first coach hit the regional roads take a punt forget the map keep place names in the head general directions are quicker than anything one bothers to follow no great Roman roads here roundabout passing phases get from one village to another right through the centre the British built roads and only now are the Irish beginning to think it a worthwhile task to maintain them signs abound with the financial support of the European Union to the reconstruction process most of the work is thereabouts started and completed for the continental visitors who want to ride and drive most likely destroy themselves in the process if driving on the left was not enough to throw the consciousness out of sink then the vast difference in road quality would from Wicklow to Sliev Bloom Mountains where I managed to keep a distance in a pine forest fit to be lost in to wake in to cry over how once all these islands were filled with a magic an ingenuity in disguise a warmth of its own destroyed obliterated over run over populated raped to every square inch and then burst out over the seems into foreign lands empire chequered with car parks let me tell you what once happened here for three euros minimum the sky is the limit onward to Portumna Forest Park whence I discovered the meaning behind the Park in the title this was fronted with bicycle paths and accessible paths round lough derg on the river shannon snuck in for free but upon stopping at the next so named Forest Park there was a fee which in retrospect may have been placed on the previous such is the scheme this nation is running it has nothing else and so I made one slapdash effort to pay for everything I had seen in one big fell swoop and even then up until the very last moment I could have walked away skipping free but what else is money for but to redistribute and to go bunk on ones own self confessed goodwill would cheat oneself and so after a few visual phantasms in Kerry – 'the beautiful Ireland' – out to the rock in the Atlantic Skellig Michael to pay respects and leave a package for welcome travelling folk such as myself one could not avoid the crowds we went in a fleet each of thirteen gritting a smile through our white privilege and making the most of the moment pain dwells from the monetary term applied to my elated feeling for a duration of time an elongated orgasm that will never recur blown and spent in an afternoon from here the meander continued along the coast having hitting bottom eastward I headed along the south twisting and turning mountainside coastal roads of dangerous disintegrated grades after a couple of days for the sake of my sanity I made a sojourn inland to a well tarred road into Cork to give both my mental consternation and K75RT's transmission and suspension something more tenable thus is how I is where I am on the Irish Sea

an email

2010-06-19T20:09:00.000+10:00

Limerick
Ireland, the Republic of

I'm in Limerick, Ireland, The Republic of. I am basically uncontactable. I check emails and try and put something coherent on a blog - link at the bottom - whenever i get into a city and find free internet floating about. Which is pretty rare considering i'm spending most of my time zenning out in the country or the remains of a forrest. the people here have done a really top notch job at cutting down trees.

it is lovely to hear you thinking of me. i'm sure you look just as hot if not hotter with straight hair as you did with your curly variety. thoughts of you and my greater sydney crew are with me often and i put pen to paper. you will be in a novel no doubt.

congrats on finishing your labour of love. i hope you earn squillions as a professional whore to this great beast we have labouring on the byways and arterials of what we may call civil society, so that you may support this artist in his decrepitude.

i will continue my nonchalant disappearance into the world so long as it maintains my spirit. but don't think that my love does not extend in silence - i do not give up so easily - I am merely throwing myself into my anxieties and coming through the other side. whenever wherever i unearth myself and begin to build a life in society again than i may gather the resources to communicate abroad.

spread love as my word
all are welcome
wherever I is you can be.

in search of

2010-06-13T23:14:00.003+10:00

Dublin
Ireland, The Republic of

what of it coming onto land pouring and soaking might ass well have swum sugar headache out of crumbs laughter and abuse get up and see an end to this fast spoilt with eggs fresh juice and tea spending the pounds weighing me down before i get into euro town bombed out and rebuilt all the edifice of the fifties and sixties old coast road is the one to travel on ride right back out into the ocean where these dream once came from can see the appeal in empirical money and the comfort it brings babied around on roads of asphalt well maintained there ought to be a sign there somewhere out of Derry that one has left the grand old kingdom of the yUK and is entering the styx of Eire for what Irish want to leave so close to the English the one's with no other choice a chosen connection to the land or to fighting who to a tolerance of do not care long story short stop a little gravel a lot of sliding and i still hurt right up the left side onwards and upwards pull oneself together get the weather right flitter through streams of rain come prepared for flood and celebrate every ray of sunshine it comes as quickly as it goes rode into Dublin today full sun face blaring npow clouding over and raining i did not stay ahead of the clouds for very long at all for five days i have been chasing it south i wonder how long it will take to blow over or if in this part of the world every morning starts out the same and ends in tears Larne Derry Drumcliff in which Yeats he wrote and spoke poetry but for morning coffee fairtrade equal exchange a cycle south to Tubbercurry many a brave Irish goes surfing and swimming on a beach a scattering of sand beautiful to watch from a distance a not quite understanding look and colourful tomato sandwiches rye bread salt found a park in Galway to end the night suitably a countryside tour between here and there visiting the land of forefathers daley scattered throughout holding to the central inland

forgot a fold

2010-06-07T22:01:00.002+10:00

Edinburgh
Scotland, UK

a moment's rest and a little mechanical restoration so far away from mechanical engineering look at the labouring mess one can get into when affixed to a rock still equipped stocked a moving path has me acquiring a moving stillness internal calm sending an already present tendency toward aloofness rocketing into the sky as though i am sifting through detritus of a civilisation moving so quickly it cannot perceive the gaping cracks and slips over the ground upon which it moves great grips on the earth for acceleration and then cracking at the fluid air atmosphere i keep a watchful eye at the sky so as not to be caught underfoot here in an about turn an abstract half way point i stitch up jeans and acquire a shirt breakfast a windscreen in any hope to further advance the protection from the erosion i am yet to bear there is still an essence of dialogue seeking robes of protection a layer between it and the world something physical to be worn out and down before prying winds may catch a hold of words and tear them asunder or worse spread them the world over surprise me with the similarities between the stories told by birds and those by stones if it is of any comfort to you then yes a concept of you a manifestation of intentions focused as a body still pervades conscious thought

hello

leaving a bread crumb trail for the future construction of self to delve back over and discover from whence it came because a birth can be so traumatic that any sense of prior context to arrival is obliterated from memory i never had a good one at that anyway so let the shit pile up in the corner i'll sift through it later and even if i don't its physical presence its assault on my senses its wreaking smell will be an effect on present conditions of action faux decision making

a short stopover
alright catch you later
where the sun never sets

no skin to sink in

2010-06-03T01:20:00.002+10:00

Stromness
Isle of Orkney, UK

run a diagnostic test on my heart a carbon test on my jaw slither through veins and arteries tell me what for red van weaves through homes of people and people of homes walk up the street and down again library open to seven everyday scotland wide access if you have gotten this far than more than many front doors open onto main roads everything harks to the weather as few steps from carriage to inside as possible nothing but the wet and wind to contend with what for is the outdoors but something other a passageway no luck with the bakery scout caught up on redirecting packages how can something so simple piss through the loophole no one knows what an address looks like round here the s fits in cause google verifies it two back packs flicker up street three youths of the local variety a gothic architecture suits the climate what dissolution comes over their play time occupy yourself or perish growth in one's own pasture the plantation must be indoors and on the quiet what with bringing anything over the ferry et al the prices jump one is either self sufficient or contributing in a meaningful sense to the surrounding community or filthy rich here is built on necessity in reaping the sea and maintaining distance military strategy sinking u-boats and trapping mammals of the sea not so popular now but once a great trade cash in on the tourist dollar can only go so far and reach up the cockles of the locals until economic bubble burst and a peaceful happiness of seclusion and making do returns to life on the isles

sub atomic bliss

v4 1200

2010-05-30T07:53:00.003+10:00

Isle of Iona
Inner Hebrides, UK

atlantic swim cost of treasure four pound return two negotiated one way a chilli experience but well worth the yarn belief is all on your side nothing to be short of there and then as first hand witness but at what cost comes disillusionment weaving a story of cause and effect let me show you the links so that within your internal dialogue the same conclusions may be reached have it spelt out their wars are our wars a crusade of ferries and tourists trying to beat the midgies who arrived today pink and purple sunset clearing sky what promises arrive tomorrow in transit nine thirty bus to craignure walk up to fishlarne onwards and upward through the unkempt and deserted corners of the UK where densely populated complaints bear the grunt on often pursued good weather conditions so long as there is space to stand and lie here i will be soaking up the sun not to be making to much of it in the higher latitudes and workable areas of the country whereas the creature comforts in cities support more in there offspill waste disposal not that one needs any vision round here just enough get and go to get the lifestyle on their own terms with what is in their water being piped into bodily systems the average height standing monad has not even the incentive to rub two sticks together time a rhythm beat a melody than carve out an inhabitance amongst a beautiful part of the world where stone walls are still tumbling down

bath and bonnet skin under the hair clawing it out whither and tither mark is all amuk in no worried labels got a sense of paranoia and patience for american conspiracies and world clouts of deep south satire i just want to find edible mushrooms poring over the good book no comment on australian contemporary music and off to bed gather together those few things before a morning fling oneself onto the road for good measure avoid a twenty five mile pelt no worry on weather conditions in a tuna can let us not leave anything behind but a story

softly underspoken scandinavian interlinked in contrast to self professed english know it all small island worries blown away in a puff of smoke fire smouldered under drink pre-prepared microwavable meat on dough who knows how this one caters for others if not the same

experiential spiritual actual

2010-05-28T06:54:00.003+10:00

Leob Cottage
Isle of Mull
UK

four weeks flicker by none to connected on the road wearied and dry not a patter of rain on this head an amazing stroke of timing in movement may is the month for hebrides counting backwards from mull oban ganavan inverness loch ness loch lomond ayr annan gretna gayal forest carlisle the lakes grasmere kendall kirkby lonsdale yorkshire dales foxup halton gill malham skipton pole moor holmfirth the peaks dunford bridge midhopestones wormhill miller's dale tideswell bakewell chesterfield leicester kipperton bedford luton stamford hill stoke newington high gate hackney three mills westminster climbing up and down ladders picking through the mess tent gathering supplies and information no jumping on the ether queue skylarks are plentiful song birds cuckoos a scampering newt a walk over torrens ruined flour mill older gazing off into the atlantic a full fairing blast to the face neck shoulders chest stripping back and bare what remains of me shatter self invigorate other throwing to the winds all only the necessary going in or coming out contextual banter a thoughtful wading through the moment keeping a tight hold on mechanisms of survival walking overweight slimming the body yet another purge on its way use or lose hitch-hiking treat already too much of people in amongst the fyfe only a certain life pick and choose light all night and cats creeping in and out of kitchen windows plenty of life in the blue blue sea upon green green hills one road and a scenic loop the english get lost in the scottish wilderness an isolation of green surrounds even here ripped and torn with mechanical brutish interaction fits of laughter walking bbc types and cosy up to scandinavian projects interested in taking up a business just on the line after fifteen years nice people who do not pay a proper wage out of touch an inflated sense of self and ego as identified as undefeated empire beating the chest with head they still cannot see what not to be proud of just don't leave home conquer the entire world from the bedroom there is enough in these isles to rue

western moon

2010-04-26T09:34:00.003+10:00

Oxford
Oxfordshire, UK

succinct timing put one on the foot engage reinstate amicable relation never amongst friends push limits to a breaking point either tower stands or falls incumbent drop ins without prior warning without means procure the acceptable social lubricant if not for others than for self hasten to rid barriers of communication on at least one side and dismantle self consciousness putting at ease any and all bipeds occupying space at present an insightful night within the closed doors of oxford community group campaigns family gathering within a disparate campaign of ambition filled individuals acknowledging the significance of not living alone this is why a choice of sharing is made beyond practicalities of financial species lord knows i have the means each smirks to themselves let us not give the game up...

recompense for computer scientists run into our new best friends on high street always heading off to more work but a brief discussion on the merits of cinema as art running a line on basis of singular vision increases the likelihood of artistic success thus the difficulty of the medium examples cited cases examined contrasted critiqued part their ways flowing from the film society expose on band a parte hit all the classics in thematic exercises spoilt for dinner twice stomach lies dormant so much pasta double yelping draw on the ace of spades forget me knot

straying away in the world of getting it together applications spreadsheets the hard yards now will make the going easy later when the mind and activity must be focused on content content structure nearing full moon the feckles are up josh flies out misses camera maybe next time get your head out of the sand man success is a failure and failure is no success at all a bandwagon mutation why didn't you leave your heart i would never have returned that

moral eden

2010-04-25T09:05:00.003+10:00

Oxford
Oxfordshire, UK

roundabout tour lewes brighton winchester portsmouth exeter bristol swansea liverpool holyhead dublin belfast larne troon glasgow portree stornowat aberdeen edinburgh york hull stamford cambridge london out of here continental blast a whole other trip a different plan this is scenario up for grabs faced up with new york pending particular person to engage in roomshare wild times on manhattan island alternative to each is a warm bath

cycle south to abingdon oldest town in all the island cross of the list lock operation getting boats up and down stream sun is out so punters make the most of these little things out of mind not achieved on over half a year how does this week but finally getting there the runners walkers riders about is it not too hot for those boots and jacket not by a long stretch just looking at you in that wife beater sends shivers and goosebumps over the skin a chill breeze another cloud overhead

cycle north far as legs and hunger strains north oxford where dons once cherished wider streets larger houses but for the economic range what wealthy elite sit on a university town is anyone's business running the clubbing scene it's a mess out there the revolution is not in the streets the revolution is not on your televisions sets nor on your radios the revolution is at home

not a fashion not something to be bought or sold but an intentional act

the flag and lamb has descended into brookes graduates in bouts of flip mat no more room for expansive minutely detailed worlds of imagination to open in competition of healthy rigour keeping the mind otherwise alert as it is ground into specialities of metaphysics and logic such dens have moved further underground disparate and disparaging of unfamiliarity the guard is up since history has become so marketable criss cross lists appreciate the once was and ignore the rampant irony of the never to be again in one's own presence now that i am here is a sign in itself of the absence of the very thing that has summoned me to said location

plus: nigel

2010-04-23T09:02:00.002+10:00

Oxford
Oxfordshire, UK

save it somewhere else always room for the digital overflow spend the day meandering through the meadows in sun drenched england never get enough of the summer sport skin and sweatshirts in nominally cool temperatures with a chill breeze wander lonely as a cloud plot and plan tilter between contemplative rides or productive pilgrimage long haul settling narrow down options or sift through the war torn past and keep the stone rolling moss doesn't gather in spring or so it goes that you are over the love we had and want to make a friendship out of what remains brings a stolid acidic flavour to the throat and mouth no change on this side you know that's not what i want that's right i got it as you said it no one for certain got a little vile out of the system pushing the catchup rag down deep inside pull out ink stained and bare knuckled confused everyone has a little bit of that in life makes the following moment a little clearer than the previous allows for modesty to slip in out of control substance curfew now and then again off on turned about halted questioned sent home reimbursed tighten those purse strings holiday maker this love affair is over straighten out and put the wheel in motion no detective novel playhouse fun ride get rhythm when you get the blues helps to walk around stamp your foot shovel dirt baby steps little new shoes measure success in the achievements of desire satisfaction hunger and sleep are good starts

eat healthy & enjoy

2010-04-21T08:48:00.003+10:00

JFK Airport
NY, NY

if only the email has come sooner then the decision process would have wailed out and a prolonged stay could have thrown out the whole kazoo may still do not on the plane yet hour delay twenty down and forty to go boarding in ten if everything to the tv screen is vital looks as though some of europe has opened up from the atlantic skies but not all of it cancelled litters the screens and dispositions seems quieter than the everyday runabout amuck but then second time round is not much of an average to take given the circumstances in and out no worries in travel connections seems like the five hour to ride gets a lot of play these days but boston would have been an easier bed to make lies outlasting their durability in market games people getting ripped off getting upset in turn as the conditions of the bet reveal themselves to be somewhat rigged the entity making the lock takes a favourable odd against its own investment programs so the knowledge is all there on the inside then outsources to a third party to gather those poor fools to bet against was it a hard sale convincing those with money to throw away

flight to heathrow is now boarding via gate 14

well go figure

towel day

2010-04-20T12:51:00.004+10:00

Providence
RI, USA

a little fairy once told me that nothing goes wrong all things go and the right is just the other side of left which left centre right out never would i have considered this to manifest itself clearly to me in as learning centres cognize but there it has been thrown at me like a radiator on last legs unfolding and unfurling before me in a grandiose roll of red carpet and trash blows street litter deli corner store haven where laundromats get ratings steer clear and it was so. leave a few garments in any corner but always bring the soap suds clothes get dirty and there are some stains no one wants to see no matter how long it has been since you looked into the mirror others are always looking at you multiple angle effervescent modulated lens cartographic cinematography no first place up for grabs just the best you can at all times the higher the strive the deeper the fall flash sunlight tungsten neon always up big blown out of proportion simple cataract blindness causes the best and worst of men to clamber up for a closer look why do the cats keep their distance at a discreet quiet whisper of a way to speak sirens allocate our sense of safety back into the fear of government essential services of food and water trapped under the base line of look after yourself

just putting it in there the box next to the door so as you can get it without the person being present to hand it over there will be no crossover next time is a age away under the porch railing cold and sober standing over a desk pen and paper one last beer and an embrace all's well when the departure is imminent nothing like the world coming in between the merits of a good story a climax fun times layabout blues i got shit from one end to the other cannot walk around in a towel all day though arthur had a bath robe and never managed to lose the towel somewhere a little blue one went walkabout i thought i'd have the chance for a self search nothing to remember me bye

some non-profit organisation

2010-04-19T02:56:00.002+10:00

Providence
RI, USA

final full day clearing pitter patter cycle round and take in a final sight and sound store in the perception filtration node tomorrow on the frog and toad namesake establishments strewn thereabouts somewhere to rest over a drink in between ways

finding a single night of rest a stopover could have been sorted but these types of person who allows in the begrudging type something has come up just the flat out no in the early sense of the term would be a far more positive step dissatisfaction is a term thrown around and as it may be so that we all feel such then spit it out and get going again increase functionality with one's fellow bipeds if this is the disease of cities in paranoia then count me out i'll grow old in friendly hermitude having company as a welcome distraction amidst the long bouts of productive solace

walking up the steps making it special over the phone a knock on the door a coffee delivery keira is my size phoebe is my size the computer randomly generates a list in that area they call the first person three times and no answer they move onto the next person on the list i took it in st lois and i was hired in st lois and then transferred to providence it will take a week but it seems kind of chaotic the office it only happens to people who are hiring it each other for the first time how hard can it be a list of people to call and tell them to come in phoebe wont do it because she has school this work kat is doing it and she said twenty five hours is what she is getting a week they are going out to pick them i have to go max to drive out to coventry ben says there is tonnes of ramps

i don't want to be stuck out there all night ben has to be back by four fourty five or something him susan and sue allen i should just call max i have a meeting that i should probably go to do you guys want some of this coffee is it regular oh no it is latte fucking hell i should go to the farm and look for them ramps are wild leeks people go crazy a special ingredient in max's grandmoother's recipe i want to say a strudel but that's probably not right only available in the spring and cannot be cultivated

here's the meeting...

close over my skin

2010-04-15T13:28:00.005+10:00

Providence
RI, USA

buses and trains feet and flying bursting into rhode island getting away from everything except the magnolias still thinking of you what a mess we've made putting back all the distance between us as you wanted it miss all spick and span miss anything else no well i'll be on my way then miss the apple pie has to end somewhere or else there will not be cream enough to go round making new friends all the time catch cry or else of course i like the difference but when you find a keeper you hold onto them never let one go let them out on the drift as much slack as development requires hold out their little hand reel 'em in when the hook is sunk in size weighted accordingly the cows come home cats purr for their milk birds fly south for winter

this is the graze game
get all those memories down the gullet
digest and shit 'em out
flushed down the toilet
out at sea
don't bother me
i'm in limbo

feels good in the lungs to be breathing cleaner air sharp tickle greater range in odour subtle and crisp
brown is positioned in the naturally occurring stop spot in Providence where the feet first tread to rest pause consider and build the rest falls around and outside much as such as seen in other university towns - Oxford, Cambridge
bike building tomorrow creaky door

playing on roads

2010-04-14T04:46:00.003+10:00

Washington Heights (Manhattan)
NY, USA

at the edge the very top cross over and fall off into the bronx under the maze whatever and ever amen to that enough said let's hold each other and kiss till climax even that she buses away from put the ocean the city the world between us and crush this precious gem from coal to diamond to dust from which we all came and will return finding the insignificant nothingness coming in from all side not bringing smiles and laughter as previously noted by a the auspices of mellow contemplation long weary roads of building into the skies only to be toppled never knowing to what ends telling myself action as ends, in itself, but this does not always satisfy the hungry body of desires the consuming beast driven ecstatic by habitual behaviour growing into emotional attachment seized in an act of becoming together growing sharing mutual existences and then again not at all space will be the death of us wearing thin these petticoats of protection the spikes of passive aggression get away from me potential openings into recesses photosensitive tender and rarely stroked the soft box inwardly turned never to be grasped known felt radically separate and yet in some conceptual empathetic move - cause i and you has - the has being shared the desire to have the consuming the initial void the sensation of filling and emptying satisfaction and dissastisfaction in this we can feel together so much as we know of togetherness

failing that i'll shoot you a new trajectory cause feeling is fleeting
no need to throw it away

trajectory the stars

2010-04-12T14:15:00.005+10:00

East Village (Manhattan)
NY, USA

got the runaway vibes solo (again) reverberate for me baby,stay the night over and have my way with self concealed conception of pleasure sense to null the over dramatised exhibition of sorrow. now we are shrinking the to the soft purrs of animality confused over these social reports of ambition and trajectory to be moving on already moved on not coming back i don't want a coming back i want a moving through - a moving on of types - with you in whatever shape that need take for the moment and other moments to continue and endure the pain of relating physically i would talk more if our actions did not speak louder than and course the blood that runs through my veins runs through yours hesitate not on any course path chosen run the pack outlasts but the lone wolf has more range burns brightly in this short spark like tears in the rain

they love their horns and sirens round here an atmospheric play of modern symphonies helicopters traffic a cacophony just to keep the residents sound and safe the sonic backdrop to this is ok it's just us here where we are meant to be fail safe on top of the chain systems in taste and affordability to look after us and if we can't rest assured on the first instance no one wants the willing harm and death and the second that helps arrives, eventually/

caught diving off into the purpose the intent the focus the drive a solidarity in movement over these lands oh that's right i have been talking and injecting a perceived scope of things to come let us go and realise those endeavours with whatever ferocity remains to be mustered the motivational winds are calling in spaces to come and those pages unturned shall don ink el communicado whatever shall i think

cause for no concern

2010-04-11T02:13:00.003+10:00

can't claim a flow of words a string of letters a bubbling of emotions all on the page springing forth this video link-up is fading my voice is getting interfered with maybe this has all to do with the engagement itself the poor struggling metaphors if you knew how i felt in what circumstances could you have acted how you did, i want the inside of the box the other side of the story the internal monologue the reasoning thinking feeling moving intentionality that has played into the context into this hole from which i am clawing oh no i am not going to see you again i am droning on and leaping to false conclusions how i would love to see you again and death solves all problems no man no problem take a dive from the roof set yourself alight draw metal across skin this is the feeling i'm in look down on the page the warm bath i've drawn overflowing melting considering the prospect of an unhealthy healthy future still in the world still meandering about chosen trajectories there is no future there is only now.

i am dog eared marked crossed out favoured and flavoured lathered ready to go foaming at mouth chomping at the bit and when i most need it the direction satisfaction purpose a solid ground on which to hold is missing i am back on this earth from its primordial beginnings and my ego collapses under the weight good have it gone its sitting there holding the body back from its unrestricted self posing boundaries and lines in the sand let the body have its way the earning and yearnings of desire and pilgrimage rise afresh and direct the consciousness in its shape form direction platitude attitude

rip these flagrant commodities away this love this hate intoxication bereavement throw me again this other i thought i had wandering about in the world come against an object ahah another me not to be all this hard lesson learning to no ends to be thrown into the dust from whence this body rose outside inside blind farseer king or peasant there is no individual in the world there is no separation the difference is conceptual held in a stuttering bumbling ego amassed as an overflowing tying together of perception and feeling the great first person paradox.

let me stand back in the street and have the wind grind me to dust

raw deal

2010-04-09T16:07:00.002+10:00

are we learning yet comes in threes so watch out for the next one every city get the let down raw run around here we are again this one cost me no considerations there another new trick just buy it four times the price just ripped off get one of each i suppose they both hurt move on and out got new arrangements to be made the hard hitting fact of tree falling issues got to get the inside wait around running through my head as the ear and heart crushing sounds rampage through the cave and back round again excellently executed remade sound layer upon layer crashing drum and bass get dancing groove boys thought set back and sit down got the melody hard guitar big rock crunch and feedback swirls tape repeat delay prodigy synth sound pushing the angles big big cavernous wall waving to and fro head whirling shit where's the round table conference nearly got through this one without a cent spent and blew the whole thing in the second outgoing stay to the day play it safer nothing around to spoil the liquid paper glow fiddlesticks all caught up about the slave paper trade flicking between the two rubs what has gotten into the sun this eve and why the long trowel keeping fixated always the pleasant night's sleep and the awakening to another venture round the alphabet into chelsea got the point right on down pat now learning everything the hard way but what stories would there be to tell if everything was soft and handed on a silver platter sure no rough drenched roundabout on the hard up still being cushioned by bank notes and foreign exchange rates this is nothing to keep up at all let alone indefinitely will heavy handedly note to self that the enjoyment is in the pace of the plant growing on a moving rock cascading through space without a guiding hand sun water and rest big plans baby steps no moments to hold onto.

it is the twice on which the shame falls on me thus heavy thud to the fall taken in stride wear a tear shaped scar on the left hip nothing but dossier reports and make up cases no gbh as of yet just the country being taken a ride in the city second one been two faired not too shabby in the first little deep here on the second but riding through the storm always going to find the easy ways of throwing away those things one does not want the hand in glove theory has got to be put to one side in favour of the let's get by wait to see the gold filter through the sand no desire rules the roost by those that wrangle life in its hold on self - life holds onto life - continued being not in consistency or shape but as growth.

laughing stock

2010-04-08T13:44:00.003+10:00

tried kitty day off to synagogue closes at two. found the paper store but nothing damaged in there, the bar and books requires proper attire - whatever and ever rubber round your gullet - the soy substitute is getting insane in Chinatown or the lies are. union market for bread but no toaster. got the wooden pipes out on display what more shit to carry around cycling up lexington and down broadway hard to get lost in a jungle of rectangles and squares. everything manages to get up the nose nothing here wants you to breather even the trees are out to suffocate and annihilate those pretty young blonde bipeds wandering in from the country beady eyed and happy go lucky good on and go this image for others may be all one needs for the tidings of goodwill to rain down upon thee. just don't ask Weberman about the rain and hate, the contradictions go missing in the trash can.

still doing the best that i can putting two dollars together to make three but the odds are heavily weighed against thee. systems in place tips and tax so that subtotals come after and not before these greenbacks come and go, more going than coming but it is warming up and so too does the flesh if romance cannot be reignited there's plenty of dry straw lying around all one needs is a match or a magnifying glass the in the loop the smouldering cigarette an eye for a good drink the right place a wandering tongue listen and keep talking engaged and comfortable lights sounds cameras movement.

too much lemon not enough tomato ought to have ceased the final scoop the last ingredient all was home and hosed til then. spaced out time lapsing getting the thoughts down in new routine spaces nothing lost but a seat gained and the warmth. got to chase the warmth whilst it is around. round here no one knows what consistent warmth is like as a bath in an ocean the thickness always hanging but the swells bring variations rise and falls in temperature always taking off lifting soothing reposition.

then there was the word

2010-04-07T14:03:00.002+10:00

is this getting through the walls - stop for the moment and have everything of everyone else coming in all around - what are these people? noisy dirty city contankerous never give up always something on work hard party harder the consistency is thicker thinker tight rope dinner. chinatown meanderings night late walks round blocks and back again drop into blue stockings east village books tattoo parlour sophie's twenty four hour body service cheap eats and family first ideas. the other comes first in an ethics tied to the self is a notion of its own state of alien being because it feels alien then self can project itself as alien to- tis the step from being into socialisation in which a benefit of obligation is sought in the underlying assumption that i feel alien to all thus all will labour for each; in a sense one labours for - or because of - alienation. alienation is a source of motivation and a chamber of desire. flays at the oddities, absurdities, and attachments to the unintentioned flailings of an animal and leaves nothing of an essence but a trace a faded equation chaos. a void. a voice.

falling out

2010-04-06T14:58:00.002+10:00

i'm beginning to s... another flight of life unfurling before thee. reset the preset. those characteristics being pointed out from in those beforehand, not letting go but reinvigorating the process of selection, having those already selected altering and influencing the process of selection. those forthcoming are under the supervision of that which has gone before. a continual reflection on the multiples between and underneath the image - totality - referencing a sequence and progression unbenowest to all others, but to the self only. the assumption of consciousness is the presence of this image. even if the imagined - yes the imagination is used in the coming about of others as they be in themselves (how does it feel to be loved?) -

place time

2010-04-05T13:04:00.003+10:00

ring around queens, of course i missed the best thing happening this weekend because i was out sobbing and living the lonely lifestyle of someone in need - in the missing - but when one needs what one wants one receives in kind. the support structure is forever in place. michael back from the weekend in DC the easter get away break family fun and nostalgic enterprise. today is monday and the surfing lifestyle is getting a whole lot easier. the pie in the face comes back with linked arms, this sweet stuff has never tasted sweeter. go and live the high life while one thinks one can. the splurge and the grave consideration of asparagus over broccoli. the double c always gets me in the end. backspacing tacking back the paces. i hate back tracking. down from astoria. the mta has their clocks forward and hour, what with all the commotion locomotion. giove the sense of already being well behind time having a pleasant feeling of arriving on time. this time shift forward happened months ago. get the fingers moving again. left the guggenheim in shock horrors this afternoon meeting the supposed story from the inside segal monitored event. the modern art decor is wearing thin but let's give it one more go at surprising the punters. the orthodox jew gets a mention in any art complex - the historical narrative is never complete, even with such an comment - the ground floor shenannigans did not go unnoticed. enough for tonight but perhaps a few numbers ought to be exchanged before the great going away and perhaps a operating system is available given the recent purchases thereabouts in proximity. take advantage of whatever does not place the other at a disadvantage. place oneself in a position of giving an advantage and not putting out. the offering of...

ride down the east river stopping in at the major and not so major queens parks along the way of note (apparently) the socratic sculptor park, in which some notes were taken and ample evidence of the american dream was captured in its waking nightmare. the syndicated television series is yet to pass a classification board. what not to look out for. popping in and out of the trendy locales of brookyn - if not made note thus far then let's put down greenpoint and williamsburg, not to mention park slope and bed-stuy - of which there were flea markets (no more brooklyn than this) and the toing and froing of local watering holes cheap eats et al. no more to speak of, but the g train and the collect them all local editions in cast iron, complete with trivial nonsense on the comparative rates of consumption between the NY subway services and other non related events.

bedford nostrand

2010-04-04T13:48:00.002+10:00

Searching for bikes in New York city. Harder to come by for a decent price round these parts, even in the Bronx or out in Long Island. The demand is still up there and high. No brick lane, nor blackbird leys, nor reverse garbage, nunnery, or king st. been a whole week without it and most of another having to buy subway tickets. loving the underground coming up on corners and turning a blind eye. she hit me first, you saw it, i'm calling the cops. know where you live, the cops'll be round your place to pick you up. is that your final word. hey you. you saw it, she hit me first. hey, do you work for mta. yeh - she hit me. i don't feel safe, could someone please get this woman away from me.
and it turns turns turns. pause for a moment, the on off at one station to go. flighty shifty types, new yorkers i don't want to get involved, get off the carriage and back on another one, same train. this is what relationships bring, muttered under breath more to others than to self, hoping someone is catching some of this undermined comfort. caught it down williams st in the financial district as well. one of those saturday nights where the drizzle has washed in over coney island and into the west of brooklyn, leaving the manhattan atmosphere a little cooler. people raise their temperatures to accommodate. raise their voices. raise their fists.
i don't want to get on anybody's nerves. sorry for the interruption, but i'm just trying to look after myself. i'm broke for some time, hungry now for a while. just trying to look after myself. anyone with any change or a dollar. been a real hard time, been hungry a long time. good evening ladies and gents has anyone any change. i don't want to get on anybody's nerves...

No Time For Words

2010-03-27T08:12:00.003+11:00

Kensington (Brooklyn)
NY, USA

I'm in New York now. Sometime somewhere little Brooklyn adventure scapes. another scathing interaction goes awry. not getting better at these little ditties of conversation or awkward moments of holding on when one is letting go. terrible belly turns and flips. out on my own again. filling and falling got to be living in a city wherever the worries and woes take me. the cold is getting under my skin. thought the bite and the chill were my thing, put on clothes and go for a walk but all i want is to take them off. got a couple of little ins keeping the head above water, not drowning yet. feeling the way through the grids and the sidewalks. slip in and out of the study, the apartment the deer park, the notorious acts of self governance. it's not true i have not been sitting here all day. just getting back to the posting. down the street to a bakery and bit of shopping and looking through. no problems getting what i want. just put it down on the system machine, walking around in and out. not at the usual locations. but elsewhere. still out there to be gathered harvested collected, saunter back all else despaired and despised. butterfly skipping heart attack wrenching - got nothing to get a hold of. still loving bathing in self defeat. oh yeh bad decisions regret nothing. get the stories out. a punch in the gut a welcoming gesture. sticky stomach over ethiopian food and two pale ales. no touching sleep well not. up and about magnolia's cupcake and tea for breakfast after muesli as usual. don't fall back on ancient bias routine giveaway. started to feel solid again after walking tourguide chat friendly discourse what not. working away and gazing into beautiful blue eyes. it feels wonderful to be. burrito down and the other blurts it out. don't stay here i no longer want you. oh that's a bummer, i'll be on my way then. can't get out the hurt, but she gives me the key to get into a house that's not mine, take my stuff and leave. there getting shit together the seams fall apart and the water rolls onto the bed sheets. leave a passing remark - a final letter to burn. alone again surrounded by a city.

sanctimonious cheese

2009-12-10T13:52:00.002+11:00

gripping stomach feeling for the churning get out of the skin i am in. the restraints come hard against this wall. the ocean is still untraversed. belittle the emotional travels with geography, you can't love with pie in the face. upwelling surges of expression lost on the byways the nodes, operated on by the resistence, calling into action. these moments of get and and go, throw self from a high place. come crashing down - when one has been up on the plateaus for so long the unfamiliar valleys are desolate. sit still and listen in the quiet - find the residences re-emerge post haste destruction quality getting on with the narratorial consciousness. the variations and versions the contradictions and spell bound counter stories. what we know and we think we know. no matter what i never perceive again. all the energy and efficacity ploughed into stopping the internal time in unison with the external slippage. oh the betroved ego, strip me to the bone the rarified calcium that marrow of my existence. excuse the burp fart and shit - what stink it raises from the fleshy depths. there is no i to held in this responsibly feat. just a little mess left in bed. pour out to the next available mug, plug a hole, restore the boat to its seaworthy status.

ASCP @ Monash

2009-11-25T16:15:00.002+11:00

Art speaks to us without a face. A presentation in a relationship to an author, to an audience, and to the world. Art speaks of speakers beyond itself, stepping into a discourse to which it is simultaneously mediated and immediate. What is the nature of this discourse? How does Art speak without assuming roles of speech? Why does this discourse continue despite Art’s endeavours to undermine structures of speech and dismantle tools of dialogue? This paper discusses/examines the position of Art in discourse, and the position of discourse in Art; recognition of the responsibility that lies between the artist, the audience, and the art to discourse.

Whatever and ever. If your in (Melbourne)town come and see the best thing since sliced bread.

October Updates

2009-11-11T13:52:00.002+11:00

Am still destroying myself with overstretched workloads. No room to move. Cannot get anything larger than a pencil off the ground. Reducing a chapter into a presentation; the movable tools. Up and down between Australian cities...

does it get any easier than this?

comment

2009-09-02T17:19:00.003+10:00

need to pull the pin. get up and do some real work. this is not work this is a job. i'm speaking on the metaphysical not the particulars. i am writing letters, at least i am writing. reading novels, at least i am reading. it is coming up to twelve months off and itchiness is wearing on hard.

discipline. self imposed regimented kantian routine.

no start. no endings. already in the midst; throwness.

pastiche my friend. learn the history of thought and you will never be short of a word.

2009-09-02T17:16:00.002+10:00

helping out with

2009-06-24T16:58:00.000+10:00

Scan09-05-26 1122

2009-05-26T11:37:00.001+10:00

Scan09-05-26 1122, originally uploaded by hayden.daley.

Scan09-05-26 1120

2009-05-26T11:32:00.001+10:00

Scan09-05-26 1120, originally uploaded by hayden.daley.

ç W

2009-05-20T17:54:00.001+10:00

ask questions street

2009-05-13T16:03:00.001+10:00

confirme the familial

2009-05-07T12:48:00.000+10:00

SN - 058

2009-05-06T15:30:00.001+10:00

habitual animals by habit. we are always finding ourselves already in the midst. any sort of notion to the finishing of the process is left up to the other. an immanent mediacy of relations between will and space. a falling back onto an outside perspective. just to catch the action going by. which serves as a drive to once again see the invisible.

SN - 057

2009-05-06T15:29:00.004+10:00

the empirical data is overwhelming.

SN - 056

2009-05-06T15:29:00.003+10:00

all the escapades run through my head, like some awful viddie on rewind, so easy to be profane, but harder and harder to offend.

SN - 055

2009-05-06T15:29:00.001+10:00

i really wish i could blot you out but you keep cropping up in the most awkward of moments, and saying the most unsurprising things. it is pleasant to witness another origin and take it on for a moment or two. but the hollowed out shell of a toll is a passing desire to satisfy a very certain and unambitious need. the less i can be necessarily filled by the better. or the more increased are my own satisfactions for the origin of another's alterity. the shocking. the new.