i have just been working on the usual motor the screws need screwing and the drills need drilling tighten nuts on bolts hold still moving parts create drive and convert torque focus all that moment down shafts onto precision points of contact rubber traction an end to create means so many levers in our continued survival
strong men we dont need any we are strong enough each and every one of us together for whom all this manipulation and the seeing such a way and moving so and so this is for the other very little for the self the peacock maneuver what are you trying to attract as little as possible there is a body in there somewhere hiding the obvious trying to keep the mind together under lock and key because sometimes it even scares me nit much difference between you and me beautiful world so you must be able to have these thoughts too even if you have not had them you are capable
create the what not conundrum the disonnance nonsense literature do you need to make sense of everything if you can
i might just get something useful out of all this bollocks in the end never know known is not the ending while we are in the middle of it a retelling we are translating a little bit of this and a large swathe of that discover what has passed unnoticed thus far
lonely lonely existence the suicide attempts relinquished all fear and the recognition of my unimportance relinquished all care i feel truly free and it is this freedom that i dont think they understand they are caught up in the money in the status in the respect a position among pigeons the outside world is busy on the things right in front of my face i have to keep the outside world inside carry it around in the mind save it for summer letters find their way in and out paper wrapped emissaries of love turn the light on for a moment for the sake of the shot there is finally an element of the theatrical in this performance
no no i am a listener i dont go on rambling rambles not these dying days maybe with a pretty girl in my youth when i was a beauty but now the looks are worn and the skin is torn i am not so long winded now put us back under the stand in the spot light under oath i promise i swear i will be good this time say all the right things when i am electioneering another go around this time i will make it better cause i know now what i should have known then well well regret is creeping in
happy to be cutting grass love to be working outdoors winter summer spring or fall i will get out there on the tractor and slash away my friend do not take the key with me but leave it in the cupboard in the office upstairs you kn ow how they feel about the key situation and i like walking in there fr our meaningless chats searching for a distraction from their screens of negotiated responsibility with their potted plants on the window ledge too little light too much heat i would love to hear more about your problems but i really ought to get down to the garage and turn that tractor over twenty minutes running time should have that battery topped up a quick abs test cut the engine give it a minute and turn it over running the pull away diagnostic tool all good these early abs systems are really sensitive to a consistent voltage input you just aint going to get functionality on an old sitting battery
be careful i feel really fertile i think we would have a beautiful baby you really mean that just look at us when i am with you i forget i was ever blue are you falling in love with me i wont repeat that mistake if you walk out of here i will follow i am not going anywhere just come inside lets make the most of our lives together we can bash it out in the bush or slog it out in the city you know we have to do both back and forth study in the city rural placement back to the city and then buy up a small country practice a very australian scraping a subsistence together you know we will earn more than a subsistence sure will be tight in the beginning not if you stay in your job and give up on the professorship i didnt say that so it will be tight dont be sending me off to the poor house pregnant dont you worry i will get the cash together take out a loan to put a deposit down on a house are you finished nearly
dark red bridge over troubled waters we wanted to be cleaning the bathroom getting right onto it after some yoghurt and fruit i already know where you are going my little friend
promises promises so we found ourselves facing face to face she asks me what this is where is it going what is going on here since when is this happening since the sunset over the gap but i cannot tell her that that is too far back and i am still with the one that told me that she had never said that she loves me but follows me around feels a bit thin on the ground a second shadow i dont know what to make of all that just spill my guts that is what mes the best story i thought we were simply having a first rate conversation over here so tell me what happened well you know he and she they turned up on the doorstep they didnt know where they were going and they did not tell me where on earth they wanted to be arriving on their lonesome under their own steam taxi from the town square however they were going to make it problems on the road authority in the way well all too quickly we fall into our old habits soon enough we had exhausted our reserves of separation i remember what it was like to be with her and no one else there are only the two of us no one else speaks our language they just keep handing out the vegemite sandwiches and strong beer playing around being myself not being able to talk carried away intimate gestures despite all those years in the cold north she never lost that warm touch nothing thinking of it room enough to squeeze and wiggle we understood ourselves in that wiggle room we could not damage ourselves the blood running with feeling damn the consequences what on earth is going on up here a higher perspective in the attic we cannot stay up here any longer grasp and squirm struggle and strangle i should go and i dont want to see your face again come back not behaving myself after i had scared her away i asphyxiated on my desire to recreate to procreate
always in the plural sitting between expectation and complacency between expectation and contemplation going to week from week until we kick through all of this mess what are we talking about the day the routine keeping a key on the person having forgotten to put it back no big deal it sprung into life last week without any problems turn the switch and off she goes just looking for another thing to do having forgotten to put back what was already in the hand today you know tomorrow you forget cannot hold onto it this is not yours to hold onto give it to everyone whatever the young ones are losing their minds as well
quickly out on the long stretch of road find another way back in over storkow out there somewhere no real map in mind doch the waterway map bridges can be problems always know you next available crossing
all the petty in fighting can be brushed aside because we have a common adversary someone who has banded us together just at the pivotal moment and has saved us from ourselves we are in agreement we like to live differently to one another no fans of the same all over forever somewhere else something different come together close ranks against uniformity a tyranny of sameness threatening our precious lifestyles
do you think a person with children wants to start a nuclear war yes well there you go no respite then no none at all smash the tyrant and let all the people have pieces of this me me me disease tyrants ourselves miscalculated the division within our ranks mistaken for weakness on the contrary it is in fact our strength you have not been listening
hot potato you know they are circles it is only a matter of time before the planes come overhead fly to bomb the shit out of everything to flatten whole cities will not be anyone left over to count the dead the wounded will be dead dying in the streets building up the new order so this has undermined market trust no bail out from war i mean what they had been doing before the big bank that was terrible but on the scheme of terrible pales in comparison
the distraction is out of my body and yet it is there again does it even matter with whom let the punctuation fall away read it out loud how does it sound this is different difficult i never said poetry was going to be easy
these cannot do toold no getting younger you get into it or start digging your own grave of course you do sire why not join the army that would be something for you i will not i am a pacifist you know that by now i dont take orders i am not out there to participate in the war in what sense i have read my hemmingway you think any of this makes any more sense now than then definitely not defend myself sure i will defend myself fight or flight the when there is no more no where else to run then i fight and this is pretty much it i ahve nowhere else to run to from here this is home a coward is someone who does not defend their home from the marauding hordes nor invites their neighbours for a pot of tea in the kitchen by the fire
getting back to maddy marie mazzy the nursery rhymes we find ourselves tracing the hills of our memories we were never really paying attention at the time i fooled myself out of a chance now i recognise the moment the instant the getting along so well and flowing away to throw away something of the broken family there is something unbroken
this week bring out the sacks and the rest of the cardboard then we need to get rid of the covers the doonas and the douves tidy up the metal corner and remove rubbish sort out the pipes not much in it but all important a trip to the tip methinks i really dont know what can be done with the rest a bit of plastic in there the brain has had time enough to mull it over now the real estate is required not even for burning suitable awful material that
nothing about the door being opens opened just walk right in i know what people are like around these parts you dont just go walking onto some one elses property if you do you are mighty fine careful not like something out there where accidents can happen you have just going just have to want it enough how far do you want me to come already here and awake what more do you want from me you didnt have to come a long way already much further than you think a very round about way of getting here nothing on the rush side it will be the first and then life fot in the way and i should be doing something else and the whole day was a one for the birds cant dance that is the hit a hit one of the known ones this is acid england musicians you know hot it goes got to get meself together some more of that sitting out back with the discovery of another misfledged fir pistol well out of the spew pit these dieing days where are we now what are we living within there is nothing out here this is the stix this is relative obscurity nothign worry about here mate this is safe haven
whenever we get around to doing the tractor when the weather clears up i mean the temperature when it is steady now is a bit too windy a bit too muddy soon soon not too soon out there with the seeds getting off to a good start whenever and ever that has to be painted why he not do that get the model out and paint all the parts prior to assembly and then very carefully with that glue want to okay will have to do in a little touching up around the contacts gently into the night gentle gentle gentle the dark cold night go gently leaves of grass and emily dickinson certainly some assess bring a smile to my face others contempt whtever am i to make o fthis another white man dieing alone in a hospital bed already dead just realeasing a brain from a coma
we have got to destroy this old shit that still works to replace it with all the new stuff that we have not had a chance yet to test out so stalemate breaker a sweet little love maker i thought we were in this together running through the possibility and we would cross that sea but you would not stay with me not on the island not on the other side you belong on the continent i could stay over there on the island another battering away at the cost of living for the what amongst the writers the people of my time need to find a resurrection in the group think something totlly different to whatever else was going on at the time isolating myself from the world of english literature and the album is out perhaps i will find myself lucky enough to be able spoil myself with this little luxury if i manage to pay off all my bliss this year and find myself oce again in the black
end station berlin hilsenrath comes back to me slowly sometimes takes a few days then again a month brain is functioning in use coming back all the time needs a long circle to turn over a lot going on in there and the pain and the playing with the discovery of sound and vision you dont want to know how much more we have to go through here i could go home with you nanette oh this is the family unit here no that i was seeing that at all well i could go with that new model plenty of curves on this one rides well