at some point the money does not mean as much anymore what am i collecting all this for a little bit of a strap on no need for all this to end my life on just a little room on the outskirts of town will fight for my ditch to die in oh shit i dont have that much should i be heading out the door that depends on how much it is going to be misunderstood misunderstanding didnt understand does not matter now we are back together again again active listening ask questions active listening take notes
¶ 12:30 pm 0 Comments
she is so heavy already put it onto mums credit card the table and chairs were promised delivery in calender week nineteen and here we are at the of twenty one no delivery in sight what is thee order number once again has she ever had her own money mum just wants to give her things you know how mothers are and the husband the successful entrepreneur industrialist worth millions still relying on the in-laws to furnish the new flat how about that a sneaky steak when the vegan wife half his age is not looking gives up smoking but still carries around a lighter crucial plot
¶ 12:30 pm 0 Comments
music where did you go when we were young we would use any excuse now that we are old we look for a reason arse face about just cause juscos if i have not started cleaning in the morning i dont think i will ever thursday has another direction another mess to make stream of consciousness messages to the thumbs no filter text like you think direct out into the ether onto the screen something of the one hand single thought daydream on miles brew another instafashion in the garbage can
¶ 12:30 pm 0 Comments
been too long the break from the break and the dust gathering upon the machine to be getting back to the letter writing this is the saturn return you think you ought to be wasting time with people these are my people you are my people ahead of me i am trying to learn from you trying to learn from an unborn audience translate math into english build up another quiver for the arsenal sitting and setting off setting off from a seated position you are going to teach me the math of the everyday teach me the romance of math the search for the love equation the story of les miserables is the story of the revoution in two parts the religious education and the path of redemption the lead runs into the fire to rescue the girl where the fire is the metaphor for a cleanse the fire cleanses the lead of ego because acts of sin are acts of ego selfish acts are sinful
¶ 12:30 pm 0 Comments
a little more distracted than usual all has to be bit a better like betty's butter planned more than what we are accustomed to and then we are not relying on anyone else for the time being a lot of work in the time ins and fast forward are we moving in thee terms and where to from here and how are you going to get that up and out of here on your head and then there from here do not use the sawdust no probably not just some straw will do the bigger birds nothing to get lost in and we can sweep it out later not going to need that space for a whiles yet do not be wanting to pull anything out of there anytime soon and do you think all the birds will be back in this time i sure do hope so and how long have they got to be sitting on that and how many will you get out swap six out for six six out six in you know they can count for sure been out on the demonstration trying to explain that to the masses with the placard but you know you have failed with your placard where you needed to explain it some even bothered to ask it should be quite clear given the context but some are missing out on key pieces of information not really needed we are just saying that chicken are good at math how much of an explanation does that need chicken are good at math therefore we need to take care of them they could be solving out calculus in the future doing the cashiers work because the monkeys are masking themselves to death
¶ 12:30 pm 0 Comments
a confusion in the asking in the question itself i know your name but i want to hear you say it the easiest way for me to get this is to put on a little act ask as if i were a stranger as if i did not know you tu t'appelle comment? this is weird it destroys a little something but it is as close as i am going to get unforgettable memory burnt into my flesh what i want we never had the sound a lover makes and we will never be that but this memory is close i stayed in your home and i imagined that we were lovers in absence that you meant something to me and more importantly that i meant something to you i went part of the way tio building that in my head knowing it would go nowhere but i am such an arsehole such little tricks to get small pieces of what i want hard to see at first because i do not desire the same trinkets everyone buys at the market i prefer a strange feeling an awkward pause those intangible moments uncomfortable where most squirm turn and run they would be happy never to have one their whole life but these are my sought after moments i have become proficient in their manufacture whether that be on the fly or long walks through misty marshes i have no clutter up in my head so let us have another drink dear before we go to bed i dont want to get upset with you i just want to play with another sweet abbreviation we can take a walk in the morning out the back door down the side alley and across the park away from the panic the vomit this evening will be too much for us in the morning we will put distance between us and now sitting at the airport gate before we even begin ti think about what we are leaving behind we have git to be ready at a moments notice i can leave everything behind because i cannot leave you
still a sharp pain in the right ear but best not to play with it best not to touch best not to think about it instead think about catching the flu and being drawn into sexual intercourse and not having the strength to explain that this would be a bad idea just let it right up in the vulva let the panic set in over the face when the semen comes dripping back down between the legs now there is all the time in the world to explain it is wanting and when the mutterings finally become understandings the face changes slacking into an oh yeh some of that was my fault well what are we going to do about it well what do you want to do at this point you know that you dont want a baby so simply a matter of choosing the means to rid the problem before it is a problem i am there for you every which way whatever it takes to have your choice manifested realised into the world to improve your life that is what i am there for in this moment and many more of course self evident in this decision which i think is yours to make without shirking my role in the creation of this choice i am there for that conversation before the choice and also after if you want me to be or not as you want i stay or go say the word and i am a stone or a zephyr
where you want to be all end up as dust inescapable solidarity something about the housing estates that brings us together drawn together fawned over together this is where we all live and my problems are everyones but not if i make it everyones problem then it is mine alone but when everyone catches on and i have simply been a wall here holding up the roof over all our heads then my problem is shared they steü up where they can otherwise they shout their support from the sideline like the road we are all on this together
what is this space we call home it is nit a space at all but a state of mind a physical state like all states replicable perhaps surely a question of perception and relocation can you represent what you perceive in such a way as to make sense of it as a plan of construction blueprint gathering pieces and putting them together is not the same as knowing what the construction is piece for piece block for block
give science a chance well here we go how many atoms are you made of let us find out start splitting stop with the pulling out
writing off people writing them down on the page why none are friends when why not you know ever so well they will always see themselves in there regardless so i might as well burn myself down with the bridges seal fate off a pact with a dark stranger live a hell on earth having gotten away with it thus far here is the space to let loose i cannot get any further from the truth i forgot the bottle of water left it in the other room i got caught up in don draper dialogue that guy is such a slimy pleasure to watch what we wanted to be honest to himself sad sell out but filthy rich armed with a charm that could get him whatever he wanted but could not hold the add men you know who they are then it was the brokers now the entrepreneurs
the older the grape the sweeter the wine just give me time time give me time and i will become fine need something in a bottle going bone dry fine so fine bubbles crawling up the middle into the nose love me like a rose fine so fine
early start tomorrow have i gone soft or am i simply dying for a change trying to adapt getting the head around the european softness who did not bring a light you guys are completely useless out here in the dark you want to go somewhere and then anywhere who says that they are coming back is this goin to end up naked have we had enough or are we really going to let loose and for some reason we do this once a year twice or three times if we can get away with it but at least once is the command from the heavens above still a long way to go out the end is in sight the measurable distance and then the next step there are a few weeks on this routine still before we change gears and step into another pile of do do you know i need a map looking for love looking to be loved looking for intimacy same problem different symptoms he is not going to call back he has a family and a career he knows where he is going you were there and far too easy now you are going no now you have already made my workplace slightly more unbearable i swaer that you just dont care but you will always be right cry baby cry you only have to do one thing well to make it in this world
we are no longer carving into stone but drawing into sand heating the sand creating glass chisel into ice and impatient authority is out the painting over it with mud summer is too far away blot out unsanctioned messages
i was born under the harshest conditions get a grip white boy yall dont know what its like screaming headline of neuralgia some one who has seen a lot cares enough to remember i trace the associations back and forth and chase them into the future i swerve appropriately playing each ball on its merits the paradigm is pragmatic we can take note collect statistical data and from there develop projections that inform the decision making process on the percentage game but in the critical moment when all factors have been accounted for recognise one is still playing the player and not the numbers the ease at which the playing field can be eliminated or at least reduced
i need the time and isolation to create something slightly different different enough to have something of the novel a little cultivar a selection process of the hand of flesh in a world of flesh cultivating traits of desire a breed saw something in there somewhere pick it out tease it improve context circumstance environment pair it up and take them out on the road to be tested and flogged
for sure there have been plenty of examples of aggression that have worked out in favour of the aggressor some with almighty costs to all sides but in this day acts of aggression which overtly disrupt the tightly woven web of globalisation make no favours the time and place must be well agreed along the supply chains for the only gains to be made are economic for it is no longer a race for survival but luxury that old adage of power thousands disappear into the shadows of the earth as if they were never there
i just got to keep this animal running in the garden soundly in the background with systems in place nt building anything out further until at least the end of the season focus on the present sort through the timber pull grass out of the strawberry patch sheep feet sunday bonding persistence would be nice not too hard forge a routine of new memories experience plant a hazelnut a little venture into town to see gerd and a bite to eat come back to put everything in its right place then to bed for an early start on another day of insatiable desire
there is little vision around these parts should not say none look at the one that stand out doing the tried and true tricks they have got their heads screwed on doing more than the average blow around i am just reflecting on myself and my lack of discipline my lack of courage my lack of vision get my fingers out and grow a nail