No Time For Words
Kensington (Brooklyn)
NY, USA
I'm in New York now. Sometime somewhere little Brooklyn adventure scapes. another scathing interaction goes awry. not getting better at these little ditties of conversation or awkward moments of holding on when one is letting go. terrible belly turns and flips. out on my own again. filling and falling got to be living in a city wherever the worries and woes take me. the cold is getting under my skin. thought the bite and the chill were my thing, put on clothes and go for a walk but all i want is to take them off. got a couple of little ins keeping the head above water, not drowning yet. feeling the way through the grids and the sidewalks. slip in and out of the study, the apartment the deer park, the notorious acts of self governance. it's not true i have not been sitting here all day. just getting back to the posting. down the street to a bakery and bit of shopping and looking through. no problems getting what i want. just put it down on the system machine, walking around in and out. not at the usual locations. but elsewhere. still out there to be gathered harvested collected, saunter back all else despaired and despised. butterfly skipping heart attack wrenching - got nothing to get a hold of. still loving bathing in self defeat. oh yeh bad decisions regret nothing. get the stories out. a punch in the gut a welcoming gesture. sticky stomach over ethiopian food and two pale ales. no touching sleep well not. up and about magnolia's cupcake and tea for breakfast after muesli as usual. don't fall back on ancient bias routine giveaway. started to feel solid again after walking tourguide chat friendly discourse what not. working away and gazing into beautiful blue eyes. it feels wonderful to be. burrito down and the other blurts it out. don't stay here i no longer want you. oh that's a bummer, i'll be on my way then. can't get out the hurt, but she gives me the key to get into a house that's not mine, take my stuff and leave. there getting shit together the seams fall apart and the water rolls onto the bed sheets. leave a passing remark - a final letter to burn. alone again surrounded by a city.