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Even if i could know what i wanted to know; that if i could label any purpose or strong emotion onto anything, i dont think it would change fuck all. i dont care. never have, and dont see the point in changing. why the fuck anyone bothers to get up in the morning is beyond me. seriously, people are so frustrated and angry that the only reason they do anything is to fuck someone else over. such moral obligation and justificaions are pointless in any sense. but people just cant do want they want. maybe so, but if they felt as though they could at anytime, maybe they wouldnt feel so jaded and ripped off throughout their pathetic existence know that someone else has ruined their life so there actions bent at destroying others people's lives is justified in their own minds. someone sits and destroys your day, a limited resource, a time and place never to be recreated, and all you sit there thinking about is how angry you feel andhow you will never get that time back. You fuck, you think to yourself. And now armed with a disparaged sense of hatred for people that are not like yourself you go about trying to impose your own sense of meanign view of the world onto everyone else. You project. And here i am projecting. Well, one day, i will discover that it is such a fucking waste of energy, of non-committed negativity - and when i realise this i will die. and then...oh then it will all be too fucking late and i will think to myself - why was i such a prick. why didnt i be nice to people. i could have just listened and empathised with people. i could have been a positive force in all that negative bullshit. i could have stopped projecting my jaded impersonal views on howfucked up the world is, and started acting in a way that was better than all that. And perhaps, then, and only then, i might have had a chance to enjoy the life that was bestowed upon me...instead of treating it like a burden from Satan, i may have embraced it as a chance of the universe for an individual to express itself independant of the mass. But it will all be too late for that. Because i am daft insolent being.