a problem
it was dark, and he was alone. it was a friday night, and he was at home. it didn't have to be like this, but the fact that he didn't know how else it could be didn't help the situation at all. at times an emotion of unexplained sadness and emptiness filled his heart and his head. this whole he filled with alcohol and marijuana. again and again he said to himself that he needed a girlfriend. his friends said he might be better off if he had someone. but the fun isn't in the having its in the being had. little did he know this, little did he care. he thought he was cooler and sexier being aloft and free. yet he did not want one night stands. so this meant throughout the night he would perve on any girl with legs, which would lend itself to people thinking he was a pervert, and he would go home and masturbate over the images in his mind, where he brought home one of the cute girls he saw that night. so it wasn't that he didn't get out, because he did. it wasn't that he didn't know people, because he did. and it definitely wasn't that he did not talk to people. he did that also, even if they didn't specifically want to talk to him, about whatever he was talking about. nevertheless he remained in this state of hiatus, which was perpetuated by his self motivated belief that he had another life elsewhere that he had to return to every year. not that going overseas every year is a problem. but he would make it a problem. but if you loved someone, or was in a relationship, why would you leave them? this was realisable just as that, unreasonable. a lover who proclaimed love for another, but then moved to china...attempting to persuade her to come with him. a degree, chocolate cake and friends kept her in sydney - a lover didn't move her to china. when you love someone you stay with them. so what is his problem. he doesn't love anyone. he just thinks he can love everyone.