on the track and flog yourself to death you old horse you we must at least pretend as if it is going to work how often are you going to throw that machine on well you know it needs it use it or lose it cannot be sitting there the whole time costs just sitting there even more in the maintenance log a lot fo short stop and go driving got to get it out on the autobahn for a little bit and then some on the way back so you may as well enjoy yourself a little no sense in holding back when i can let loose for what now you may ask and the alcohol has not kept my innards disinfected what the hell chuck dont be throwing any of that away keep up a good stock a nice supply oh you are going for that for sure and all that drinking kicking down the immune system what chance am i giving myself none at all really when we talk about regret i am writing as if i am writing to you you are my only regret i know that now i should have made it work with you another way the fourth way why did i not make it work not not not unwilling i thought i wanted something else now that i have something else i realise wanted the same that i am the same there is nothing different about me at all the desires fir the pattern i am only good at one thing and i still dont know what that is so much that it isnt the bla bla not keeping up to speed just hurting myself and most of the around me not needing the fitting in schedule whenever you want to come around she is not well nowhere else to go no one is kicking anyone out here this is not how it goes but i am not waiting for permission well i hope you are happy happiness and health is what i wish you and your family my regret is only that i am not of your family that we are not a family how much has that come to bit me on the mind a real kick on the pants i am not sure what i am doing here what are we doing for each other here just pushing off the loneliness i can feel the loss of strength the tiredness the lethargy
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