likewise...i
i guess i was never worried about how it would turn out. the chase was long and hard but it was worth it all the while. of course i knew what action i was taking. it was sick. i know that know. still i sit here waiting for them to know that. just like the two lepers. they knew all along yet they held out, right to their deaths. maybe they will too. hold out, right 'til my death.
the day had burst forth, the sun spared no one. heat and light flooded the still atmosphere. i sweltered like a pig. stubbornly i resisted removing my boots. i convinced myself of the benefits of the boots filling with sweat. Tatty bounced into the porch with no restraint. the jiggling body refused to still itself, like a raver quelling thirst at first light monday morn. the party marooned itself within the motor-neurone section of the brain. never had blatant sexual thirst dissuaded my desire than now. the heat had surpassed a motion of passion and had circumvented discomfort proceeding heedlessly into incapacitating. my penis knew not its coordinates among the ocean that was my lap. the wandering mind had left an AWOL notice stabled to my forehead. the finger thin joint had self-combusted within my hand leaving the rest of the body dazed and confused. Tatty looked frustrated, she felt frustrated, a sea-lion yawned itself from deep within Tatty.
The water-pipes don't pass in the sunlight. My wrists are frozen, biting on the cuffs. The razor draws another scrape across my face. This sack of shit sitting in the tub with me must love his job. i can see his balls shrinking in the cold water. I guess that's why they leave me here a little bit longer. The male-nurse goes and dips his balls in warm water before they unleash me. So they look bigger than me in the hall. Screw them - everyone knows i got the biggest balls in here. That's what they are afraid of. they'll hold out. i gotta get smarter. I think next winter i will grow a beard.
She would have given anything for the martini that slipped between my fingers but she had nothing to give. there was no bodily comfort to be gained in this heat. again with the heat. the day was marked with heat. perhaps that is why the events of that day seemed so unclear and void. as though the day itself disguised the truth. a game fizzled in our heads. well at least in my head. tatty would be hard pressed. tatty would always be hard pressed. still she sweltered for my martini. i thought to splash some over the floor, to see it hiss into the air vaporous. making a singular path to the stereo tatty pored over dripping vinyl. some sort of soul rubbered under the needle. the sounds seemed somewhat slower that day. tatty jiggled. i bathed in an ocean of sweat.
those shadows leave a delicate mark on the hall wall. sun stained patches reflect the walk marks of the floor. two sets. a dark grey thick straight line, and a lighter column of paths. the inmates tend not to walk the same way twice, helps them grow, and they know they're not walking in someone else's shoes. sometimes they would be dragged, not always screaming but most. that wouldn't leave a mark i suppose. the attendants are always heavier, thick set. hmph. they get to return to the wives, who thrash out a solid meal every other night. exercise. warmth. and the sun. but they walk the same line everyday, with everyone. here they are, on choice, en masse, as early as i can remember and when i feather off to sleep. which one is it? him or me.
Labels: shortstory